Inside Philippine politics & beyond

Jokes and Corona’s impeachment trial

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By Raïssa Robles

When political tensions rise, the ever resilient Filipino instinctively cracks jokes.

The impeachment trial of Supreme Court Chief Justice Renato Corona is one more instance in our nation’s history where jokes – expressed as political satire – have become a measurement of public dissatisfaction or outrage.

Jokes on Corona have turned viral on the Web

One example is this  depiction of Corona’s “living room” – a reaction to Coorna’s consistent refusal to disclose his dollar holdings by invoking the bank secrecy law.

Jokes---dollar-papered-livi

Jokes about Chief Justice Renato Corona abound in the web. This is one of the funniest.

This picture has gone viral on the Web – eliciting hundreds of comments.

Jokes---text-on-Corona-doll

I’d like to thank my hubby Alan for calling my attention to it; @Jim Sarthou for posting it on Facebook; and of course to whoever made it – do take a bow.

Alan who is a born satirist has this theory that jokes or mockery are a form of protest that Filipinos have resorted to since the Spanish colonial period.

A speech silencer for Senator Miriam?

The item below was sent to me by @Jay Fernandez with the following message:

I found this in Yahoo Singapore news.
If only this is available, Atty. (Vitaliano) Aguirre won’t need to cover his ears…..hahahaha.

Jokes---silence-weapon

The “weapon” has the following description:

This delayed auditory feedback device makes it all but impossible for a human to speak

Ever since humans first invented guns, they’ve been inventing new uses for them. Some shoot bullets; others shoot lasers. But a strange and unsettling new gun being developed by Japanese researchers shoots sound waves in an effort to disrupt and silence anyone who dares speak out of turn.

The gun operates based on the concept of delayed auditory feedback. An attached microphone picks up the sound being made by the target and plays it back 0.2 seconds later. The effect is incredibly confusing to the human brain, making it all but impossible to talk or hold a conversation. The device doesn’t cause the person it’s being used on any physical harm — it simply messes with their head.

When the human brain hears its own speech perfectly in sync during normal speech, it easily processes the input and allows you to largely ignore the sound of your own voice. However, by offsetting the response just a bit, the brain hears your mouth speaking as well as the strange echo effect produced by the gun. This unusual combination is confusing enough to effectively shut down the part of your brain responsible for managing speech, and you fall immediately silent.

The first versions of the weapon — if we can even call it that — were dependent on a separate PC to process the input and relay it back to the speaker. However, the second prototype (pictured above) does away with the need for additional hardware and includes all the necessary processing bits within its casing, making it easily portable.

The developers say the gun could be used for seemingly innocuous purposes, such as enforcing rules requiring library patrons to keep quiet. It could also see action during large meetings when it is important that onlookers not disrupt the speaker; anyone who fancies a noisy outburst would immediately be silenced by the high-tech handheld.

The free speech implications of the speech jammer are somewhat disconcerting: A protestor or speaker at a political rally could be easily silenced just for having unpopular views. Political rallies and other protest gatherings could easily be quieted by the strange gun, should law enforcement or other agencies decide to equip themselves with the technology.
[Image credit: Cornell]

 

Jokes prompted by Senator Miriam’s outrage

Speaking of Senator-judge Miriam Santiago, this reaction of private prosecutor Vitaliano Aguirre –

Jokes---the-original-Aguirr

The original - Atty. Vitaliano Aguirre

has inspired copycat jokes on the Web:

Jokes-from-chubibo.com

Jokes from chubibo.com

But the funniest of all Aguirre jokes, I believe, came from none other than the Impeachment Court presiding officer, Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile during his recent press conference:

Jokes-Enrile-a-la-Aguirre

By the way, the Laserna, Cueva-Mercader Law Offices  adopted Aguirre’s photo as its gravatar as a sign of protest. Would it live to regret these  jokes? Let’s see.

Jokes---Laserna-Cueva-Merca

Jokes on me 

Weeks earlier, someone played jokes on me by claiming via cellphone text, Twitter, Facebook and newspaper that I was “the small lady” who had handed the prosecution Corona’s precious bank documents.

Interaksyon, website of TV5, even inserted me in an online comic book on the trial. LOL:

Jokes---Interaksyon1

From Interaksyon - the TV5 website

Sometimes, jokes aren’t intended

Take the case of this senior banker who told me why he had stopped watching the impeachment trial altogether. It wasn’t because he had lost interest, far from it, he said. It was because his blood pressure kept going up whenever he watched the trial.

The banker wistfully said that he wished someone would invent a device – a blood pressure monitor that can be attached to a TV set which would automatically turn off the TV the moment his BP reached dangerous levels.

Hey, this is not a joke. This is a true story.

______________________________

To read more examples of political satire go to Alan’s website www.hotmanila.ph

I particularly recommend the following articles:

A joke of a presidency 

Loco vs Bobo

God! Help us! Our president is a catastrophe!

Gloria Aeterna

Comments

  1. Dear Ms Raissa Robles

    I’d like to ask you permission to reprint this article in my publication – One Philippines News. It is produced here in Manila but uploaded for print (monthly) in Seattle, New York, Florida, Illinois and Texas. Our readership are Pinoys in the US who like showbiz and political news from back home. We have an online edition but basically we’re fans of the newsprint/tabloid format. We just lost our UK edition but we insist on resisting the “inevitable” that print is on its last leg. We also have travel and food stories. I have no budget for contributed articles that’s why I’m trolling the net for the kindness of strangers for reprints. Or maybe not that strange. I used to write movie reviews for the Manila Chronicle, right about the time that you were working there, I think. God I hope you remember that period – late 80s, early nineties. Doronilla was Ed in chief and my section ed was Thelma San Juan. Anyway, please, please? I need to fill up 40 pages of articles by tomorrow night Manila time.

    Manny Espinola
    Managing Editor
    One Philippines News Magazine

  2. husband and wife Corona were talking while inspecting their dollar passbook:

    ma’m: Daddy, wala kayang makahalata, more than ten years na yung 34.7 million na pinagbilhan ng property namin sa Bustillos na ideneposito ko sa account mo, 34.7 pa rin hanggang ngayon?

    CJ Crown: Don’t worry, honey, taken cared of na yan, yung bank interest kasi naka deposit na yan sa pangalan ko din, I have even converted the money to collars, who would know it eh protektado ang dollar account natin, este, ko pala.

    ma’m: Sigurado ka, hon, alang makakahalata niyang tungkol sa interest kasi millions yung deposit for more than ten years, millions na rin ang tubo nun sa banko, di ba? Inutang mo pa nga yung 11 million, di ba hon?

    CJ Crown: I told you, hon, don’t worry about it – taken cared na yan. nakita mo naman kung umarangkada si sister Miriam, si brother joker, si boy marcos, you have nothing to worry about!!!

    ma’m: eh kung makahalata ang mga relatives ko at mag-testify, hanapin yung interest ng pera, di ba pwedeng mangyari yan?

    CJ Crown: Dont, worry, hon, ala ka pa namang kaso tungkol dyan. Saka ka na mag-worry. In the meantime, — pahinga muna tayo.

    • On a little more serious note, I wonder what will happen if all those who supposedly own the assets in question are investigated by the BIR. Siguradong cry foul sila claiming buong pamilya hinaharass. But I think that, investigation of all those who claim to be the real owners, should be investigated for possible tax evasion and unexplained wealth.

  3. Here’s an old joke that I’m recycling with a small twist to keep up with the times:

    CJ, Cuevas, and Midas are travelling together in a small private plane. CJ is feeling depressed because of his sagging popularity.

    CJ to Midas – If I have a million pesos in a bag right now I will throw it out of the window. The person who finds it will be very happy.

    Cuevas to CJ – Make it ten bags with 100,000 pesos each, throw it out of the window and you will make ten Filipinos very happy.

    Midas to Cuevas – Just throw the CJ out of the window. That will make a million Filipinos very happy!

    • This a very nice move if it really happens. It did when Marcos was over thrown by people power. But unfortunately the people have a very short memory. We put the son of Marcos to the senate thinking that the Filipino people owe Marcos some gratitude.

      • this is the problem with us, filipinos…i was told by a foreigner friend.. that “Filipinos have very short memories”

        • Not just short memories when we tend to side with our kababayans even if they’re wrong or guilty.

          Not just short memories when we tend to accept corruption as a way of life. Just ask around to see if how many people really believe that: MOST cops are clean; that most politicans are not corrupt; that most judges does not accept brib es; etc.

          On the other hand, corruption on the left and corruption on the right, what are our poor kababayans to do? Give up their right of suffrage? Or choose between the lesser evil (if they can distinguish who the lesser eveil is)? Or vote for the more familiar name or face?

        • Pero may isa dyan height lang ang short pero pera, pati sa asawa at anak, very high(madami) :D

        • @maria celeste zepeda,

          Hindi makakalimutin mga pilipinos, Nangyayari lang ito dahil ibenenta nila ang sagrado nilang BOTO, o kaya nagpauto na naman…

          Tingnan ninyo mga butihing OBISPO/PARI ay tinanggap pa rin ang SUV noon kahit alam na ito ay galing sa maling paraan. Naging mga makasarili lang karamihan sa atin….

        • Ang nakakalungkot is either nakakalimutan natin ang PAST SINS or maybe just natatanggap natin over time.

          Sa SUV naman, yung iba 2nd hand pick up lang. Pero I recalled reading an article quoting (if I am not mistaken) a late Cardina saying something like THE END JUSTIFY THE MEANS. KUNG MATUTULUNGAN DAWDAW ANG MGA MAHIHIRAP PWEDE ANG GALING SA MASAMA O ILLEGAL.

          Maybe someone can confirm if my recollection is correct (or have I misread?)

    • This reminds me of a retarded person who publicly announced that she’ll jump off a plane – then publicly said she lied – with a witchy laugh. They both have something in common – absence of delicadeza.

      Corona should not have accepted the appointment as then CJ Narvasa has previously refused to act on Corona’s appointment because Narvasa believed it being near an election is a midnight appointment. Corona should have the delicadeza to inhibit himself in cases concerning his former boss. Corona, when his properties are exposed, should have the delicadeza to resign – instead he himself.introduced into evidence their family problems which tends to show, as Enrile has noticed, that the Corona’s unjustly enriched themselves.

      As to the retarded person, resorting to tongue lashing knowing walang papatol sa kanya, etc., lawyering for the respondent, etc. should also have resigned in the name of delicadeza.

      Mas may delicadeza pa pala si igz Zubiri compared to these two more senior officials

  4. I laughed when I heard Enrile say:
    “We will take the bull by the horns when we reach the bridge.”
    Indeed a lovely mixed metaphor.

  5. … this is a good reminder that if it’s not yours, return them back to the govt… no ifs. no buts.

  6. bakit yun mga nagcocomment d2 ay walang pakialam sa mga ginagawang kagaguhan ng mga cabinet officials ni noynoy??

      • mike, naman, yung mga kagaguhang sinasabi mo ng mga nakaupong opisyal ni pinoy – parte ng trabaho nila at saka, kung meron man, siguro sensilyo pa lang. eh yung sa mga alipores ni GMA – milyon milyon na, ano. ang hirap lang kasi, ang kakapal ng mga hiya ng mga kurakot ni GMA, hirap hulihin, alang mga konsensya!!!

    • Other government officials may be equally or more guilty but today, it is the thief justice’s day in court, not cabinet members, not the 188 solons, not drilon, Corona has himself to blame for not inhibiting himself in cases or decision involving his one time boss. Yet, he has the nerve to ask some senator judges to inhibit themselves.

      He has the nerve to ask 188 solons to also sign a waiver. But he never ask SC justices to sign as well.

      In his 3 hour “speech” I am really surprised that being a thief justice, he has resorted to unsubstantiated claims.

      Even without the articles of impeachment, his inconsistencies on BGEI, on who’s the real owner(placing his own daughter as a dummy), on his stand on dollar accounts being an asset that does not need to be declared, etc, and not on any issues raised in the impeachment complaint, I believe he does not deserve to continue as THE CHIEF JUSTICE OF THE REPUBLIC OF THE PHILIPPINES

    • @mike,
      cuevas will shout at you, IRRELEVANT, your honor!!
      ipa-impeach mo. saka mo makikita kung gaano ka-level headed ang mga tao rito.
      you are welcome here pero, as a baby. read your milk here and grow a matured troll. pag alam mo na what is going on around here, yehey, make a comment, sky is the limit. basta relevant lang po. intiendes? hijo bonito..

  7. I have an idea who’s the senator who asked Corona to resign.

    Lito Lapid!

    Lapid is trying to make a comeback in television, and Corona is trying to upstage him. When Lapid found out that Corona had 31 guns, he asked him to resign!

    :)

  8. Bakit kaya hindi nadidinig at hindi naninindigan si Jojo Binay hinggil sa Impeachment ni Corona? Kaisa ba si Binay sa panawagan na dapat ibaba na si Corona sa kanyan trono?

    • Matagal ko na ring inaantay na magsalita yan. Pero I think he’s afraid he will open a can of worms!

      • I think mr binay is playing it safe… actually too safe. most vp’s play this role of being neutral. they don’t want to rock the boat. their duty is to ‘attend’ the non-controversial gatherings, meetings, etc. sort of the representative of the president when the president cannot go because he is dealing with the issues. the impeachment is a controversy so he stays away from it. results – his popularity goes up. makes mr. binay look good for those people who really do not know what’s going on, and will probably vote for him.

        • Yup. And less talk less mistake. He’ll say what people wants to hear at a safer, I mean later, time

  9. Just an idea for a short video or audio clip:(I dont know what software to use or how to do it)

    Scenario: an acquittal for Corona.

    A voice over with a sound/look-alike of Gloria Arroyo:

    Hello? Renato? (or whatever his nickname is)

    Kamusta na? Remember me?

    Aakyat na kaso namin dyan. Dont forget me. Also Andal and Benjamin. :)

    • Scenario 2: a conviction n for Corona

      a man’s voice like that of the Chief Justice: Oh, hello there ma’m:

      I think I am in hell with this fever but I still remember you.

      Just wait awhile, m’am, I’ll meet on my way down.

  10. Only 17 more signatures needed at the website: The International Criminal Court: Reconsider and reject the election of Miriam Santiago as ICC Judge.

    Go patriots our country needs you.

  11. Speaking of Sister Flory,

    Yon isang lawyer ni corona, nag hamon pa kay Sister Flory at Ana Basa na kasuhan daw si Corona.

    And here is something new, sabi ni Corona another senator asked him to resign… maybe he has forgot but the People of the Philippines is also asking him to resign

    • Ito pa isang joke joke joke:

      Atty Jimeno: I don’t think it will be good for the economy if CJ resigns… It doesn’t show that there is stability.

      Ah… Alam mo ba ate, na sa ibang first world na bansa tulad ng Japan at Germany, ang bilis mag resign ng opisyal ng gobyerno pag nababalitaang nakagawa ng mali.

      • Exactly. Dito lang sa atin, where no one loses in elections, where public positions are kapit hanggang kamatayan, where these “perks” are seen as privileges and birthrights. Only people like her would think that allegations on wrongdoing and a person who attempts to resign because of them would cause “instability”.

        • that’s how important the position of the CJ pala according to Atty. Jimeno and they are saying he cannot influence the voting of the en banc court on important cases. he have only one vote but he can cause instability on the economy if he resigns. ang labo yata ate.

        • may nabasa ako sa abs-cbn news na si atty.jimeno ay pumirma sa pettion laban sa midnight appointment ni corona,pero sabi niya alam daw ng defence ni corona.for me her credibility zero,isa siyang malaking balingbing
          sayang ang pinag aralan at mukha niya medyo maganda panaman.
          sana may mag identify sa lahat ng defence ni corona (character)para malaman ng taong bayan kung puwede silang paniwalaan.

        • Bakit kaya hindi natakot ang defense na kunin siya bilang part ng team???

        • Kaya lang sa mga abogado walang balimbing iyan. By their own self righteousness and their self-serving public service principle they have to defend anyone in need of their services. EVERYONE IS INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.

          LAWYER’S OATH (excerpt)
          “and will conduct myself as a lawyer according to the best of my knowledge and discretion, with all good fidelity as well to the court as to my clients”

          Ang key word dyan ay “as to my clients”. Pera iyan eh.

          Kahit na minor na innocent victim ng rape papalabasin nila nagsisinungaling.

      • you’re right. kahit nga hindi pa ikinakaso o found guilty. kahit walang pang impeachment. yung pinagdududahan lang sila, resign na agad.

        • Delicadeza tawag dyan. Kung meron nyan si corona hindi niya tatanggapin ang appointment na iyan.

      • Di kaya US economy ang tinutukoy ng aleng ito? Stability? dapat umuwi na lang siya sa asawa niyang kano kung ayaw niyang madamay sa pagdurusa ng mga pinoy dahil sa kagagawan ng kanyang berdugong amo. Ms. Jimeno, REALITY BITES , alam mo ba yan?

        • pano mo nalaman na si karen jimeno yun? haha curious ako. anyways dami trolls dun sa inquirer e.

        • Why not read her posts then decide if she is a troll. I think there are two posts there where she signed karen.

      • Hangang kamatayan hindi sumusuko ang mga ganyang Filipino.
        May ayaw pa ngang umamin na patay na eh. nakasilid lang daw sa salamin at natutulog na parang inaasahan pang magising.
        Lalaking nakapatong sa babae at parehong walang damit, wala raw silang ginagawang masama mga ninakaw na pera pa kaya na nasa bankong takot mabankrupt pag sinequester ang nakaw na deposito.

    • GMA and Corona keep saying the same thing…who is in charge of the courts?

      So, no surprise there. They were able to make his illegal appointment as Chief Justice legal. Kaya wala silang takot magsabi ng “eh di kasuhan nyo ako!”

    • Pero at least si Atty Jimeno nakakatawa, parang dumb blonde lang. Etong si Atty Quicho nakainis.

      Atty Quicho: May madre bang ganun na nagsasalita ng masama?

      • Then they must know that even Jesus Christ told the Apostle Peter Get behind me , Satan!.. (Matthew 16:20-28) for unbelief ( as He knows that the devil is demonizing the disciple).
        Ang hirap kasi sa kanila, nagmamalinis sila eh alam naman natin na hindi na sila mag ka intindihan kung papaano ipaliliwanag yung mga yaman ni Corona. Relatives of Cristina waited for so long ( in fact nakamatayan na nung iba) to have the justice served. Weather weather lang yan.

      • Corona purpose of media blitz was to divert attention to bank accounts impeachment discussion and counteract Ana Basa interview but he was surprised Sister Flory spoke.

        Now Corona refused to talk and is pleading to spare his wife’s family in the news. Before Sister Flory came out Corona said he had every right to engage in public interview like what the Prosecution did. He lost on his tactic, he he he

        Corona lawyers speaking to media defending Corona telling incoherent logic. Jimeno said that if Corona is reoved there will be no stability? Nonsense statement. What does that mean? Atty Esguerra said that Mrs. Corona owned 95% of BGEI without showing proof. I’m saying too that @Baltazar just bought entire Luneta complex so INC could not hold rally there, he he he

        Atty Salvador said that Basas could not become rebuttal witness unless Defense will open up topic related to the family corporation. Does he mean Defense and Mrs. Corona will not talk about BGE money at all? Then Defense is bluffing only that they will put Cristina on witness stand, he he he.

  12. Antohny Taverna of dos por dos said yesterday in his afternoon (5:30 pm) program that he has to wait for the defense to present their evidence before he can personally render his opinion about CJ’s impeachment trial. That sounds good, isn’t it? He said he is consistent with respect to his objectivity.

    I became a fan of Tonying when he expressed his disgust over GMA’s corrupt and undesirable actuations, Mike Arroyo’s bullying and notorious dealings with the government agencies, and Jocjoc Bolante’s fertilizer scam case. Tonying did this apparently without waiting for GMA, FG and Jocjoc to present their side in the court of law. Further he already judged Sec. Lacierda by calling him Sec. Lamierda without hearing the Sec.’s side.

    If a media person is an opinion maker it is inevitable for him to express his opinion on contemporary issues – unlike an ordinary newscaster.

    Tonying clearly is on the side of Corona. He defends Corona. Incidentally, he said he is a member of INC. Anthony Taverna of dos por dos is a joker. But I don’t buy his jokes this time and I cease to be a fan. As things unfold I found him to be in the mold of Miriam.

    • I agree with you….i was once a fan of him before but i stopped watching his program for his biased comments for the corona’s.

    • @Don’t stop
      Did Anthony really call Sec. Lacierda , La mierda? Is it during a broadcast? or in writing?
      Many Filipinos are not aware (except the Zamboangeños) that the term mierda means the human feces. And in Spanish speaking countries, calling a person mierda in public – most especially in a broadcast – has the same effect as Miriam’s gago.
      I hope he is just naive and not that stupid as Miriam.

      • bago itong inpeachment basta tapos na ako sa trabaho panggabi kasi ako uwi ako ng 6am(dito sa seattle washington)set ko ang alarm para mapanood ko ang dos pos dos…wow bilid talaga ako tonying walang habas kung mag salita tamaan na ang dapat tamaan..oppppss nalimutan ko may tfc channel kami..pero nitong mga makaraan buwan nawalan na ako ng gana kay tonying mukhang na $$$$ na ni coronoynoying..hangagang ngayon sa maniwala kayo at hinde never ko ng watch ang dos por bdos pati ng umagang kay ganda si ted failon na lang kahit noon pa nila ni korina tapos si pinky

  13. You know what else is funny? When Atty. Jimeno implied sa ANC kagabi na sina Corona pa ang hina-harass ng mga Basa, evidenced daw by the libel case that Cristina Corona had to file against them. HAHAHA.

    Ps. Ang cute cute ni Sr. Flory Basa no? She’s sooo adorable!

    • I just posted an analysis in the previous thread on Corona character. Check it out.

    • SISTER FLORY BASA : SO OLD AND YET SO PURE…
      SISTER KAREN JIMENO: SO YOUNG AND YET SO CORRUPT

      • di ba si maceda yang so young and yet so corrupt…..lol…..sabi ni former manila mayor arsenio lacson….lol…..

        • tenx dun pala galing yun, so si maceda ano na ngayon?
          so very old and still so very corrupt? hi hi hi hi
          naughty fifol….

    • Yes..Sister Flory is so sweet and adorable.

      How could the Coronas harm such people ?

      The Sister Flory interview must have done irreparable damage on the reputation of Corona and his lawyers

      I like her statement .it went something like ” truth on one side..justice on the other and charity in the middle “

  14. Pampagana lang yan ni maam Raissa….I’m sure Ms. Raissa has some bombs to detonate in due time. Just waaatch!

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