Exclusive
By Raïssa Robles
Last October 9, 2012, Justice Assistant Secretary Geronimo Sy went out of his way to mention me by name in his media briefing about the Cybercrime Prevention Act; he also mentioned what I said about cyber adultery.
Before that briefing, I’d written a piece called “The Cybercrime Law was brought to you by 7 senators & 12 congressmen”. Here’s the link to my article where I criticized Section 6 of the Cybercrime Prevention Act which not only CRAMMED the entire Penal Code and all special laws within the ambit of the Cybercrime Law. It also raised the punishment one degree higher.
Here is the section I questioned:
SEC. 6. All crimes defined and penalized by the Revised Penal Code, as amended, and special laws, if committed by, through and with the use of information and communications technologies shall be covered by the relevant provisions of this Act: Provided, That the penalty to be imposed shall be one (1) degree higher than that provided for by the Revised Penal Code, as amended, and special laws, as the case may be.
In addition, the next section makes the accused liable as well for violating the present Penal Code:
SEC. 7. Liability under Other Laws. — A prosecution under this Act shall be without prejudice to any liability for violation of any provision of the Revised Penal Code, as amended, or special laws.
In that article, I had interviewed Congressman Teddy Casiño – who had voted “yes” to the House version of the Cybercrime Law. I told him my apprehension about the law and gave him the crime of adultery as an example. Here’s what I wrote:
“For instance, I told him (Casiño), if a woman commits adultery using a computer, she would be guilty of a cybercrime and her penalty would be one degree higher.”
To use my previous example of the case of the woman accused of adultery, because of Section 6, if a married woman’s e-mail to her lover were submitted as evidence, her penalty if convicted automatically becomes one degree higher.”
This is what Assec Sy said in his lengthy October briefing about what I wrote:
To quote Assec Sy in this video:
“Pause for a minute. And with all due respect to Raissa, can you help me think of a scenario when adultery can be committed with a – through the computer.
I had a nightmare last night. I said, how can I answer this provision. In what instance can I commit adultery over a computer.
Seriously, I can’t think of any situation where adultery can be committed through a – with a computer, maybe. But not through a computer. OK?
But the whole point is, we have to be very careful of this. I mean as I said I respect Raissa and all of that, but, the question is, she might have been confusing the mode of proving adultery – electronic evidence – e-mail – versus the fact of adultery.
Two separate things. No two separate prosecutions. Definitely no higher cyber-adultery. No higher cyber-adultery, definitely. I can say that.
There is in law what we call the factum probandum and factum probans. For the lawyers here, two different things. Sounds like, looks similar, totally different.
So with all due respect, let’s be careful in blogging because when lay person reads it, it creates another chilling effect or whatever it’s called. Let’s have a seasoned debate, a very clear debate on what it’s all about. So far, so good?
Good.”
Assec Sy is probably busy right now feverishly trying to prepare explanations for why there’s no “chilling effect” to the multitudes who’ve expressed outrage about the cybercrime law (which seems to be primarily Sy’s handiwork). But at any rate, I will now belatedly answer his remarks.
Dear Atty Sy, if cyber adultery doesn’t exist, why is it listed?
Let’s just assume, as Sy claims, that one cannot commit adultery using a computer or any other technological device.
If this is the case, then why is the crime of adultery even included in the Cybercrime Prevention Act?
Besides adultery, what other crimes in our Penal Code and special laws cannot be committed “by, through and with the use of information and communications technologies?” Who is supposed to sift through these hundreds of laws to find out?
Remember, the entire Penal Code and all special laws were CRAMMED into the Cybercrime Law through Section 6. It states that –
“All crimes defined and penalized by the Revised Penal Code, as amended, and special laws, if committed by, through and with the use of information and communications technologies shall be covered.”
Remember, it was Assec Sy himself who had drafted the Cybercrime Prevention Act, which the senators virtually adopted as theirs except for some insertions such as Senator Vicente Sotto’s online libel.
Under the principle of statutory construction, when a section states “all crimes”, it means all crimes without exception, for as long as these are “committed by, through and with the use of information and communications technologies.”
Who is now to determine whether a certain crime cannot be “committed by, through and with the use of information and communications technologies?”
This, I believe, is what the make the present Cybercrime Law so dangerous because it is so vague and so broad in scope. It leaves too much to court interpretation. One highly-placed official I talked to calls Assec Sy a “favorite fascist.” It gives an idea of the mindset the Cybercrime Prevention Law comes from.
That’s why it will give the average law-abiding Filipino nightmares.
Does cyber adultery exist?
The advent of social networking sites and chat rooms on the Internet has opened up a new channel for committing adultery. In the year 2000, Famiglia Cristiana – a magazine that states the Vatican line – first sounded the alarm against “cyber adultery”:
In recent years, there emerged in developed countries – where computer penetration is high – the growing problem of men and women taking on virtual lovers.
Here is an interesting article on it, about a married man who has taken on an “online wife” in a virtual world – where the players number in the millions – through an Internet game called “Second Life”:
It’s Sunday morning at 6AM, and Dutch Hoorenbeek rolls out of bed to check on his strip club and do some renovations to an outside party deck. He then fires several tenants in his mall for not paying rent, signs up four new ones, and transports to his office to spend some time with his wife, Tenaj Jackelope.
The thing is, in real life, Dutch Hoorenbeek is actually Ric Hoogestraat, a call-center operator making $14 an hour. He’s also married to Sue Hoogestraat, not Tenaj Jackelope.
Confusing? It should be. Turns out that Ric and Sue’s marriage is on the rocks. She contends that he spends more time online in Second Life, a virtual universe currently home to 30 million players, with his online wife. Sue spends her days in front of the television, while Ric is in the other room running a virtual night club and consorting with his online wife, sometimes for as long as 14 hours at a time on weekends.
To read the rest of the article, click on this link.
Below is a teaser video about “Second Life”:
Here’s another one about cyber adultery –
The Sydney Morning Herald [Australia] reports that “virtual adultery” is a new threat to marriages. Until recently, adultery has been a sin of the flesh. Temptation arrives, chemistry sizzles and before long the unfaithful spouse is spending stolen nights in cheap hotels. Now there is a new threat: the virtual affair. While some argue online affairs aren’t real, research shows some spouses take them as seriously as the offline variety – and they’re becoming a gateway to divorce.
To read the rest of the article, click on this link.
The US military was concerned enough to post the following on its website:
Cyber affairs — are they the new adultery?
By Michelle Owens/Army Flier
FORT RUCKER, Ala. (TRADOC News Service, Oct. 2, 2006) —
The Problem
With the availability of chat rooms and groups on Internet Web sites, the temptation to meet new people online increases, according to ChatCheaters.com, a Web site created to help couples struggling with Internet infidelity and how to work through the problems.
A Probe Ministries Internet article titled, “The Allure of Cyber-Relationships,” defines a cyber affair as “an intimate or sexually-explicit communication between a married person and someone other than their spouse that takes place on the Internet.”
Two-thirds of American attorneys say the Internet played a significant role in divorces, according to ChatCheaters.com.
Online relationships provide individuals with an outlet to tell secrets and express themselves to a stranger anonymously, while allowing for the creation of another persona, according to the Probe Ministries article.
Men often create a well-groomed, professional, athletic persona, while women create a thin, beautiful and adventurous alter ego. When online, people create fictitious, seemingly perfect personalities that are desirable to others to fill social and psychological needs, the article stated.
To read the rest of the article, click on this link.
So, Assec Sy, what do you think? Does cyber adultery exist?
Adultery under Philippine law
At the moment, Philippine law defines adultery this way:
“Adultery is committed by any married woman who shall have sexual intercourse with a man not her husband and by the man who has carnal knowledge of her, knowing her to be married, even if the marriage be subsequently declared void.”
Could not a smart lawyer argue in court that “sexual intercourse” in the Internet Age also means intercourse of a sexual nature between a married woman and a man, using a modern device such as the mobile phone or the iPad and iPod, in such a manner that they perform a virtual intercourse?
DOJ Assec Sy said in his lecture that I mistook factum probandum for factum probans.
According to the 1972 Philippine Law Dictionary of the late Supreme Court Justice Federico Moreno which I have, factum probandum is “a fact to be proved or established”; while factum probans is “a proving fact.”
As I understand Assec Sy, in cases of adultery, the crime itself is the factum probandum; while he contends that e-mails and videos are the “proving fact” or factum probans.
The problem is that in the crime of adultery, the proving facts play such a major role in establishing the crime. I was aghast to find out that a wife need not be caught in the act – or inflagrante delicto – to be convicted of adultery. According to the book on the Revised Penal Code written by the late husband-and-wife Supreme Court Justices Ramon C. Aquino and Carolina Griño-Aquino:
“…proof of adultery, like proof of most other crimes, may safely rest on circumstantial evidence when the evidence is such that it leaves no room for reasonable doubt as to the guilt of the accused. Conviction for this crime has been frequently had without direct evidence as to the specific acts constituting the offense. The unexplained fact that a man is found at a late hour of the night alone in the room with another man’s wife, she being in bed, and absent from her husband’s home without his consent, and as far as she knew without his knowledge, is sufficient to sustain for the crime of adultery.”
“The nature of adultery is such that it cannot often be established by direct evidence….”
One of the examples that both judges cited was the Legaspi case where several love letters from a lover was found in the wife’s possession…and the offended husband, armed with a search warrant, found both “partially disrobed in one bed”.
If a husband were to catch his scantily dressed spouse while she is doing Facetime on the iPhone with another man, would that be the same as being “partially disrobed in one bed”?
Now I will explain one other reason why I was greatly disturbed by this wholesale cramming of the crime of adultery into the Cybercrime Prevention Act.
The law will make it easier for husbands to gather evidence against their wives. As in the case of the American General David Petraeus, racy e-mail between lovers could provide strong circumstantial evidence. So could photographs and videos exchanged between them. So could “sexting”.
Since the Cybercrime Prevention Act crammed the entire Penal Code (which includes the crime of adultery) into this law, husbands can use the following section to fish for evidence:
SEC. 12. Real-Time Collection of Traffic Data. — Law enforcement authorities, with due cause, shall be authorized to collect or record by technical or electronic means traffic data in real-time associated with specified communications transmitted by means of a computer system.
What’s wrong with that, you might say. As President Benigno Aquino said, shouldn’t a crime in the real world also be a crime in the virtual world?
Here’s where I come to one of my strongest objections to what Assec Sy did with the present Cybercrime Law (aside from online libel of course).
In other countries like the United States, adultery is defined as the act of having sexual relations by the husband or wife outside of their marriage. In the Philippines – where the Revised Penal Code containing the adultery law dates back to 1949 – adultery can only be committed by a married woman and by a man who knew the woman was married.
In other words, a married man who has multiple affairs with women who are single or whom he thought were single cannot be accused of adultery.
In simple terms, if your husband is cheating on you with affairs or single night stands right and left, you cannot charge him with adultery unless he happens to be hitting on a woman he knows is married. The only other way you can haul him to court is on the charge of concubinage, which means binabahay niya yung babae (he has placed a woman in a love nest) or he keeps a mistress in the conjugal home or has sexual intercourse “under scandalous circumstances.”
As a woman, I find it unjust that our present Penal Code allows married men to have a string of affairs and sexual intercourse so long as they do this with women whom they think are single.
And get this: adultery is punished more harshly than concubinage. Adultery is punished with prision correccional (six months to six years) in its medium to maximum periods; concubinage is punished with prision correccional in its minimum to medium periods.
In addition, a married woman can be charged with and convicted of adultery with the same lover for each known act of sexual intercourse. As the two associate justices explained in their book on the Revised Penal Code:
“Adultery is not a continuous offense; each sexual act is a separate crime of adultery. Conviction for one act does not bar prosecution for other adulterous acts.”
In contrast, the justices explained, concubinage is a single continuing offense:
“It is not the single act of adultery. It is cohabiting in a state of adultery. It may be a week, a month, a year, or longer, but still it is one offense only (Pitoc case).”
Our Penal Code, in effect, legalizes male philandering.
Now comes the Cybercrime Law drafted by DOJ Assec Sy which makes it easier to convict women with circumstantial electronic evidence, using real time collection of traffic data as provided under Section 12 of the Cybercrime Law. And yet the same law in effect gives Filipino husbands free rein to carry on affairs in cyberspace.
Being convicted of adultery has grave consequences for women
Besides a jail term, adultery has other devastating consequences for married women. A lawyer told me that a conviction of adultery is one of the grounds that a husband can use to file for legal separation.
Now, under a newer separate law called the Family Code, the adulteress would be forced to lose her share of the conjugal property and be barred from inheriting anything if the husband dies. More devastatingly, she would automatically lose custody of any minor children.
The Family Code is more just and fair than the Revised Penal Code in that it makes no distinction between the wife or the husband as the erring spouse, but merely states that “sexual infidelity” is ground for separation.
In my interview with women’s right advocate Elizabeth Angsioco many months back, she told me that some lawyers were revisiting our laws on the crimes of adultery and concubinage with a view to revising them.
I would be amenable to the crime of adultery being crammed into the Cybercrime Law as long as lawmakers make married men equally liable for it and – in addition – make concubinage a crime punishable one degree higher than adultery. But I probably wouldn’t trust DOJ Assec Geronimo Sy to draft the proposed legislation.
Confusedwife says
Hi, I am a wife of an OFW, when he came home last December he gave me his used tablet. Maybe because my husband is now that into technology, I saw in the arxhived messages, a chat between him and a woman, a married woman from Pasig City, they were having internet sex. There was also a pocture of womans private parts. This really hurt me because for me, i consider this, even of its thru the internet as an infidelity. They both posted pictures of their private parts on the sex chat. What can I do aboit this?
raissa says
First, before you do anything, decide what you want to do with your husband.
Do you want to separate?
PCC says
please read the email i sent you and kindly reply.
check your spam folder.
please reply to make sure you read it or you saw it in your inbox or spam folder(at least),
even if you are not interested to pursue that extremely important topic.
It is very important.
regarding cybermartiallaw.
Included in that law is a provision that will send many Filipinos to prison and
could be potentially become victim of extortion or bullying by trolls.
It is not about the libel part of the law,
we have enough lawyers attacking that terrible part of the law.
Analyze it.
I am sure if cyberlaw happened in the USA
and a journalist received that message that i sent you,
He/she would spend the entire day analyzing it and send it to the press the next day as urgent.
This would be unacceptable to the Americans or the entire Europe +UK
and would claim it to be an absolutely absurd law that needs to be immediately thrown to the trash bin.
Note: For highly intellectual person only.
It is a long letter but if you think it is great,
i want you to be the 1st one to bring it up and out to the public for debate.
I assure you, this is a topic for a great debate.
If you need my help, contact me.
few day left for the TRO…
raissa says
OK. I found it in spam.
I’ve asked someone to comment on it.
Thanks.
PCC says
i sent you a reply, pls read it.
Check you spam folder.
If you could, honestly tell me if you are interested with the message
and if you find the argument valid and important enough.
Let me know if it is not, so that I wouldn’t keep on sending messages that might be unwanted.
Maybe I am the only Filipino who have this analysis because i have heard no one,
not a single one, brought it up.
It was always the libel part that is being targeted by the anti cyber law movement that demands it to be removed
while this equally important provision might be able to slip in without anyone noticing it.
There is still time to ask the SC to strike this out as well.
if you do not fully understand the content of the message,
ask someone who might be able to help you (30+ yrs old I.T. or tech guy with a business/social sense).
I really think it is important and i believe anyone (tech guy) from silicon valley (California) would agree with me.
baycas says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr8oF3D2ADE&feature=youtube_gdata_player
baycas says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6RHJUSprPo&feature=youtube_gdata_player
baycas says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWyANludGXg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Baltazar says
Maria Ressa – the seasoned anchorperson. I really loved her voice even during her time at the GMA network.
So it looks like SC is going to throw the ball back to congress so we’ll probably have to wait until the end of the year for the fate of the CCL. JJD is also quite inclined to the idea of SC junking the whole thing then congress will have to start from scratch. Nice discussion, I think we can leave the CCL issue for a while.
Jan says
There is no such banana as cyberadultery. Any conclusion that there is such a thing is a result of a reading of a badly crafted law. Tawag dyan impossible crime. Ganyan ang nangyayari kung hindi napag-isipan ng maigi ang paggawa ng batas.
raissa says
I’ve updated this post – in reply to RM –
Sex without contact
http://raissarobles.com/2013/01/16/sex-without-contact/
netty says
Raissa, just a curious question. Some instances here that occur in the popular use of social media like FB, Twitter etc where couples now whether same sex or not separate/divorce depending what law prevails in their country.. If the case goes to court due to reasons of custody or for any other reason to dissolve/separate the union, does this constitute this cyber adultery? I am excited to hear the free opinion of our friend RM.
Martial Bonifacio says
Complete audio of 1st oral debate in SC regarding cybercrime law.
http://sc.judiciary.gov.ph/features/oral_arguments/cybercrime/cybercrime-01-15-13.mp3
raissa says
Wonderful. A first in judicial history!
baycas says
Take note of Carpio’s incisive presence…
baycas says
Consolidated Comment of the Solicitor General
Can be read here:
http://sc.judiciary.gov.ph/features/oral_arguments/cybercrime/index.php
baycas says
Warning: NSFW
Wow, this blog never ceases to amaze me…
It’s rather naughty or kinky…but I wouldn’t think that operational definitions of “cyber sexual intercourse” and “cyber carnal knowledge” will be insinuated here.
Both, I have read in a few comments but somehow with improvement or modification, may mean:
Tsk, it is now even harder to prosecute because weak or bad signal may be a defense…
Hmm, perhaps cyber adulterers will get hold of smart phones with dual, triple, or quintuple SIM cards.
baycas says
Btw, this blog post is “where computer penetration is high”.
The term “penetration” now occurs seventeen (17) times in this page…and counting…
raissa says
LOL.
netty says
Isn’t that wonderful? Raissa’s blog is wonderfully penetrated globally by 3M CYBERHUMANS, I hope. Baycas, you are really into it, that word I mean, you’re looking for the word and counting. ;)) Have a great day everyone, are we already two steps ahead with the SC Cyber crime debate?
raissa says
:)
baycas says
A mobile phone/gadget in place of the Astrea I…
Watch “The Ugly Truth” (2009).
baycas says
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB9_e6x0eYg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
PCC says
I find it weird. Why did you delete my previous post while you allow jokes?
raissa says
I didn’t delete anything.
This is what you posted and it is up –
I sent you an email regarding an extremely important matter about the cyberlaw that needs equal and full attention just like the libel part but nobody seems to notice it. There are enough lawyers pounding for the removal of the libel part , the search without warrant but no one has notice a part of the law the will hinder and bind the hands of current and future generation of internet guys from creating great websites.
I want you to be the 1st one to write about it.
Check your spam folders.
If you cant find it, email me.
I want it to remain confidential for the moment. analyze it. It is absolutely important that this should be brought to the attention of the public and should also be scrapped from whatever would be left of the cyber law (if the SC allow a revised cyberlaw new edition).
It is Anti Filipino, Anti Filipino businessmen, Anti cyber rights and productivity of Filipino, Anti Filipino opportunity, anti internet technology. If this unnoticed part of the cyber law pass, it will literally put multitudes of internet guys (now and future generations) in danger and thus, will forever make the Philippines uncompetitive in the Internet age. It is about one of the very foundation of the internet, and the crappy cyberlaw will basically hinder or limit Filipinos to grab opportunities.
PCC says
Have you read my email? I sent it a long time ago. You seem not interested at all what it is. I did not receive any reply. It is ok if you are not interested, i just want to (hopefully) to be at least notified that what I am saying doesn’t interest you or is not worthy to be pursued. If you will only read it and find the logic on what it means you would clearly understand the repercussion or negative effect it will have. All media personnel are focused on the libel part and the search without warrant because it is what will get media attention but none has spent even a minute to investigate further other errors in the cyber law that needs to be deleted.If you have not read it, kindly tell me where to sent it (email), or do you want me to post it online on another site like wordpress or tumblr (while i want you to read it 1st and find out if i am mistaken or not). You seem to have enough clout to ask important people to look into the said matter than I have. What do you think?
raissa says
I have not received any e-mail from you.
PCC says
I have on raissarobles dot com at gmail dot com dot = “.” for antibots.
I have no choice than but post a link here.
do not forget to visit this exact link, i will post it online. I will recompose it and post the link here in your site. Please read it. If you are a reader here, please re visit this link tonight and read the post. Join the conversation and maybe Rissa can create a full post if it is worth the attention. I believe it does and not only a post but a petition for it to be deleted from the cyberlaw(new edition). Thanks
raissa says
I just checked again. I have not received anything from you in that e-mail address.
Just copy and paste here what you want to say. I’m sure the other commenters would want to know.
Thanks.
fed_up says
@FCC. Please take patience. As a commenter in this blog since the time it was debated which name should be given to this community (it was eventually agreed upon to be called CPM for “Cyber Plaza Miranda”) I have been fed up a number of times waiting for my comments to be posted here.
Though it took time, all my comments have been posted, sometimes duplicated because I got impatient as to repeat the posting.
This blogging thing is a new technology we are all enjoying but sometimes technology can be a burden.
Parekoy says
@PCC
Please check if you added hyper links, this site automatically quarantines the comments with those. The waiting time is about an hour to release those. It happened to me too.
Don’t worry, Raissa’s site is an Equal Opportunity Site (EOS), even some nutcase comments are allowed here as I observed.
We can’t wait to read your urgent message!
The Thinker says
You are right. In a country full of nutcase, an intelligent person would be a social deviant among nutcase.
Baltazar says
@ The Thinker
…that’s just another euphemism. So which one are you , the intelligent or the nutcase.?.and have you seen PCC’s comments such that you can categorize him as one of the two cases?
The Thinker says
@Baltazar, grow up, listen and learn. Assuming if you know how to read, understand simple elementary English what did PCC said again? What was the issue of his e-mail to Raissa that you allude that I have read?
How can I know what her issue is when she did not post his query to Raissa in this blog?
Baltazar with your age and supposedly wisdom you are just normal. A normal nutcase in my definition among many.
As what this wacko who calls himself Mariano Renato Pacifico: “TO HAVE A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM IS TO KNOW THE PROBLEM FIRST”
So, Baltazar, I cannot know PCC’s issues are but definitely I cannot know because she did not post it here unless I am clairvoyant which majority of the Filipinos still rely on.
Thank you.
P.S. Please do not bother to respond. Because your response is likely another of your snipping and tirade that is unsubstantiated like the Philippine Media.
Baltazar says
@The THinker
Let me repeat what I said in one thred:
Do not argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with their idiotic experience
So you too believe in clairvoyant while you are accusing Pinoys of beleiving one. So you have answered my question, you intelligent
Case Rested!
Parekoy says
Break muna para more fun in the CPM
Syno ba ang dapat SySyhin sa pag insert ng Libel ProviSyons at Adulterer ng SyberCrime Law?
Anonymous Philippines’ hacks gov’t webSytes anew!
-balitang halaw sa Philstar
Dahil sa panibagong paghaSyk ng mga hackers para ireklamo ang karapatang pantao sa pamamahayag, nagpanik ang Malakanyang. Ang reklamo ng mga hackers ay dahil sa ADULTERATED na Sybercrime Law. Titigil lang daw Syla pag tinanggal ang mga ADULTERATED proviSyons at pangalanan at tanggalin sa pwesto ang mga ADULTERERS ng Sybercrime Law. Namumutla, namumula at kumikislap na parang krismas layt ang bumbunan ni PNoy sa galit.
Madaling irepeal ni Pnoy ang mga probiSyon dahil hawak nya rin ang TongreSyo, Syetnado, at andon na Sy Syreno sa Korte Suprema. Pero ang problema ni PNoy ay kung Syno ang may pakana ng nakakahiyang mga probiSyon ng Sybercrime Law. Inatasan nya ang NBI, PNP, at iba pang sangay ng gobyerno sa pagimbestiga kung Synong henyo ang may kagagawan nito.
PaSyguro rin Sy Pnoy. Dahil alam nya na tSysmoso ang karamihan ng mga Pilipino baka may mag syngsyng. So inatasan nya ang isang Sexy Reporter (Malaki rin ang Futures) na mag-interbyu sa mga PUlitiko at iba-ibang personalidad sa bansa. Humayo at nang-interbyu ang reporter.
Reporter: Syno ho ba ang dapat SySyhin sa pag insert ng Libel ProviSyons at Adulterer ng SyberCrime Law?
Syetnator Miriam:
(Nakita ang camera at automatic na nakangiti dahil bagong facial/botox pero bago sumagot biglang naging seryoso at inilabas ang kanyang mga pangil at umuusok ang tenga) . Sy Syetnator PonSy Enrile yan. Alam naman natin kung Syno ang namahagi ng “Christmas Gifts sa Syetnado”, Synoli ko pa nga dahil alam ko suhol yun sa panantili nya sa pagka PreSyetdente ng Syetnado. Syno ba ang MarSyal Law Administrator? Syno ang nagpayaman Symula pa noong panahon ni Marcos?Hukluban na yan mahilig pa manliligaw, pa-coup-coup pa cuopal naman, ngayon gusto pang maging Syetnador ang kanyang anak. Daanin na lamang naming sa BokSying, kung Syno ang matalo Sya ang Adulterer ng Sybercrime Law!
Syetnator JPonSyE:
(Papungay ng mata at iSynilid sa kwelyo ang kanyang kulubot na balat sa leeg, habang nagpapak ng Viagra) ADULTERER? Ako? Ayoko ng patulan yan, alam naman natin kung Syno ang may tama sa ulo. Sya nga pagkagraduate nya, nagtrabaho agad yan sa gobyerno kay Kokoy (Kapatid ni Imelda) at alam ko ni hindi nag practice yan. Ako yumaman ako kaSy nagpractice ako bago pa ako nag Symula sa gobyerno. Sya ang imbestigahan natin, ang yaman nya na rin, laki pa ng mga bahay. Anong sabi nya, nanliligaw ako sa kanya? Hindi ah, naman may taste naman ako, aminin ko kay Loren oo, pero yung Chief of Staff ko, wow Syuper. At yong paninira nya na gawa-gawa kong ambush nong MarSyal Law sa libro ko, sabihin nyo sa kanya mas fictitious yung kanyang pagka Expert nya Kuno sa Constitutional Law, ilabas nya nga grades nya sa UP. Haay, ayoko na ngang pumatol dyan. May kasabihan kaSy: Pag pumatol ka sa isang Syra-ulo eh di Syra-ulo ka rin. Pag-usapan na lang natin ang kandidatura ng anak ko, hindi mamatay tao yan at lalo na hindi rapist.
Syetnatorial Jacky PonSyE: Iboto nyo ako para maimbestigahan ko yan sa Syetnado, kaSy gusto ko happy rin kayo. Ulitin ko hindi ko trip yung pagiging Adulterer, gusto ko hapi wife ko. Pero yung pagiging killer at rapist…(tinapik ng tatay at Synenyasan na itigil na ang interbyu.)
PreSyetdente Erap: Adulterer? Naman. Anong ebidenSya nyo? Kahit tanungin nyo pa Sy Loi, Sy Guia, Sy Laarni, saka Sy Joy. Plunderer okay, pero Adulterer never. Maling akusaSyon yan, hindi ako mahilig sa matanda (Adult), mahilig ako sa mga diSye. Hwag nyo nga pa lang kalimutan, iboto JV.
Reporter: Syr, nagtatanong lang po kung alam nyo, hindi ko po Synasabi na kayo
PreSyetdente Erap: Ganon ba, paki bati nga kay Gloria, “Una Una lang yan, he he…”. Tanungin nyo Sy Syabit, baka may listahan yun.
Syabit Syngson: Synabi ni Erap yun?(Nagsuot muna ng shades na parang sa tutubi) Hindi ako ang nag insert nyan, pero pabor ako dyan lalo na yung sa adultery. Dapat yung asawa ko nakulong yun, ano ba ang karapatan nya na magboyfriend kahit hiwalay na kami, adultery pa rin yun. Kaming mga lalaki pwedeng kumuha kahit pa ilang babae, pero sila hindi. Tularan dapat ng batas ang parusa ko sa adultery. Ganito. Bugbugin yung lalaki, ilabas ang ari (liit naman ng ari ng boyfriend ng asawa ko), hawakan ng maiigi, at martilyuhin.
Syetnatorial JV EjerSyto: Syguro yung isang bansot na Syetnador ang nag insert nyan. Halata naman Sya na ayaw nya akong maging Syetnador, gusto nya Sya na lang ang laging Sykat, Sya na lang ang bida, Sya na lang ang paborito ni Daddy, alam ko Sya ang panganay pano naming kaming ibang mga kafatid? Sya nga Syguro…
Syetnator Jinggoy: Hoy Syadaffbadaff!
Syetnator(a?) Koko: (Tinamaan) Walang ganyanan Jinggoy, courteSy naman sa kapwa Syetnador. Pero Miss Reporter, sa tingin ko ipinasok yang probiSyon nayan nong ni Syubiri pa ang nakaupo. Hudas yan, mandaraya, kaya Adulterer ng Sybercrime, Sya yon. Hoy Syubiri, amihnihn. Pag nakita ko Sya, kukurutin ko Sya, pero gwapo Sya diba?
Syetnatorial Syubiri: Hmmp, kaya ka iniwan ng asawa mo, mas malandi ka pa sa kanya. Hindi ako aaah. Aminin ko na lang na may alam ako sa dayaan noon sa Mindanao sa tulong ni PreSyetdente Gloria, GarSy at ng mga Sycho Ampatuan, pero nagSyngit nyan never!
Syetsya*Gloria: Ano bayan Syubiri, nanahimik na ako ditto sa St Luke, Hello?
*masarap lang pakinggan
Syiter(Cheater) GarSy: Tawag kaba Maam? Kulang pa ba yung 1M?
Sycho Ampatuan: Pisting kang yawa’a ka Syubiri, nanahimik ko dito sa kulungan Bay, hwag nako damay. Piro Miss Reporter, sa tingin ko yung hinahanap nyo, Sya rin ang bumaon dun sa midya , Sya yon. Naghanting lang kami baboy ramo dun, nagkataon lang na napadaan dun yung cunvuy ng miSys ni Mangungudato at midya. Hwag naman aku husgahan. Piro pag inamin ko ba na ako yung pumatay sa priss pridom sa Sybercrime, abswilto aku sa masakir? Kung uu, aminin ko na.
Syxyparin Korina: Syno ba ang pandak at maitim na maligno at atat na maging PreSyetdente? Pati anak nya na wala namang alam at bano pa, pinatakbo pa sa Syetnado. Di na magkaSya sa kanila ang pagiging Mayor ng Makati, Tongresswoman, at Bise PreSyetdente. Talagang namamaligno na tayo. Maligno SyxSyxSyx Dynasty yan.Syla na nga!
SyxSyxSyx NanSy Binay: (Habang namimili ng mga Belo whitening products) Grabe naman kayo kung laitin nyo ang Daddy ko. Proud ho kami sa kulay namin. Bata pa lang ho ako, ang orientation naming magkakapatid ay towards public Syrvice so iyon ang strong point namin, our deSyre to help. Kaya nga ako ang plataporma ko, dapat magpaganda ka. Tag line ko: Kay Binay, gaganda ang buhay.
Reporter: Whatever…
Reporter pumunta sa presscon para update sa Atimonan Overkill
Sycretary Ochoa: (May hangover pa) Alam ko yung probiSyon nayan, proposal lang yan noon, pero hindi ko inapruban yan, wala ngang pondo eh. Sabi sakin ni Dumlao, mga gun- for- hire daw to. Sana naman hwag ng patulan to ni Sycretary Padyak Mar.
Dumlao: Coplan Armado Sybercrime. Yan po ang pangalan ng operaSyon namin. Yun nag-insert ng libel probiSyon yung target namin sa Atimonan. Sy Supt.Hansel Manratrat ang operations offiSyr, paki tanong nyo Sya.
Supt. Manratrat: Confirmed po, Sy Syman nga po. Rubout? Nanlaban po, yun kailangan depensahan naming ang sarili namin. Opo 24 kaming pulis at 25 na mga kapatid na mga sundalo. Nawawalang 100milyon? Baka po naibigay na doon sa mga Syetnador na bumoto para mailusot nya Syung korberSyal na libel probiSyon. More than 400 na bala ang tumama sa sasakyan? Konti pa po yun. Rubout? Di po. Kahit itanong nyo pa don sa mga pamilya ng 16 biktima sa Paranaque nonng 2008, bayani po ako noon nabigyan pa ako ng promoSyon. Masakit pa po ang mga galos oops tama pala ng bala ko sa kamay at paa, pahinga na muna po ako.
Syetnator Lacson: Rubout? Hwag muna tayong maSyadong mag-speculate, magaling na mga enforcers yan Syla Dumlao at Hansel Manratrat, uphold nyan ang batas. Alam ko ang nararamdaman nila ngayon, dumaan din ako dyan nung ako ay naakusahan sa Kuratong Baleleng, pero ano napatunayan ba nila? Sa tingin ko Sy Syman talaga ang nag insert ng probiSyon.
Nagtanong naman Sy Miss Reporter sa mga Taipans.
LuSyo Tan: Tingin ko funded yan ni Sy. Alam mo naman yan gustong Sya na lang lagi ang pinakamayaman sa Pilipinas. Ano ang purpose nya? May lihim kaSy yan at gusto nyang itago, so kailangan higpitan ang freedom of speech sa internet, baka lumabas. Pero alam mo, may pagkaengot din yan, yung tinatago nya nasa pangalan ng kanyang mall. SM-Sadista na Masokista pa yan. Pano ko nalaman? Yung babae nya naging babae ko rin, yun iniwan nya, kaSy kung ano-ano daw kahalayan ang pinag-gagawa sa kanya. Call me anytime if you need anything, okay? (sabay kindat)
Henry Sy: Synabi ni LuSyo yun? LuSyfer talaga yan, naungusan ko lang sa pagiging pinakamayaman sa Pinas, kung ano-ano na ang Synasabi. Syguro Sya, lahat nyan binibili panahon pa ng MarSyal Law hanggang ngayon. Yung mga Syetnators binibili nya. Please ask Syetnator Recto. Tingnan mo yung Syn Tax, diba sumingaw ang pangalan nya don? Sya yun. Call me anytime if you need anything, okay? (kumindat din pero hindi halata, halos nakapikit na kasi.)
Nagdako Sy Miss Reporter sa Bilibid.
Rolito Go: Sya yung nagkidnap sa akin sa loob ng kulungan.
Antonio Sanchez: Pag itinuro ko ba mabibigyan ako ng pardon tulad ni Jalosjos?
Meanwhile in Zamboanga City…kausap si Miss Sexy Reporter sa Cellphone
Jalosjos: Ano iSynabit ang pangalan ko ni Sanchez? Rapist ako pero hindi ako rapist-murderer na tulad nya. Buhay, buhay yung bata! Kung gusto nyang lumabas, magbigay Sya dami namang nababayaran dyan sa Bilibid, ako diretso sa itaas, diba mam Glo? Kung makakalabas Sya, pwede rin Syang tumakbo under UNA, feel at home Sya. Mga Ex convicts, Plunderers, Rapists, mga Coup plotters, at iba pang mga astigs. Hwag nyo nga pala akong kalimutan sa darating na botohan. Mayor ng Zamboanga City under the Syga party of UNA. Syno sa tingin ko ang ADULTERER ng Sybercrime? PasenSya ka na ija, hindi ako tSysmoso at nagbalik-loob na ako ki God. Plug ko na rin yung programa ko sa mga kabataan dito sa Zambongga: iYOUTH(iyut), bale scholarship yun sa mga edad 12-16 na mga babae, kwalipikaSyon: maganda, sexy at bobo. Tapos ng interbyu, humayo at namigay ng mga kendi sa mga paslit sa lansangan…
Nag Jeep sa UP Sy Miss Reporter, bumili ng banana q at nang interbyu ng mga frat boys.
Sygma Rhoan: Pakana yan ng mga UpSylon. Andyan Sy Joker, Pangilinan, Remulla, at Fuentebella.
UpSylonian: Pakana yan ng mga Sygma Rhoans. Nasa kanila Sy Enrile, Angara, Drilon, Villafuerte, Salas, at lalo na Sy Antonio Carpio.
Alpha Phi Omega: Nagturuan ang dalwang tunggak. Good! Di nila alam nasa amin Sy Binay at Sy Chiz. Sa rambolan ala Syla sa amin. Pero walang aamin sa amin kaSy may Omerta kami. MafyoSy kami. PreSyetdente Binay 2016, APO, APO, APO!
Dumaan na rin sa,Ateneo, UST, AMA at LaSalle at nang interbyu ng mga estudyante.
Atenista: It is quite obvious who is going to benefit from strengthening the punishment of Adultery. Maka SyBiSyPi. Syempre mga taga USTe, mga sarado ang mga utak nyan, utak-Damaso. Kahit Syguro Synabi ng mga taga UST na lemons and cowards yung mga taga LaSalle, Sygurado ako hindi La Sallista yun, kailangan mo above 80 yung IQ para maipalusot mo yung ganong probiSyon. Taga AMA utak komiks pero marunong yun sa computer, remotely Syguro.
USTe: Atenista yun! Mga Jesuits traydor ang mga yan, meron na naman yan binabalak para mas malakas ang impluenSya nila sa gobyerno. Bulok na style ng mga yan, panahon pa ng inquiSySyon. Pero Sygurado ako hindi LaSallista yun, obvious diba, baka taga AMA.
Batang AMA: Syet Tsong, Dude.., Anti Cybercrime kami! Mga hackers kami, kita mo yung tumira sa mga webSytes ng gobyerno, Anonymous Philippines, ka-grupo namin Syla. Nagpa cute at sabi, “Miss gusto mo ng fishball?”
LaSallista: What is that again? Sybercrime…Libel…Adultery? Can you please wait a minute, I’ll have to call my driver, baka alam nya yun.
Miss Reporter: Hwag na…
Dumaan na Sy Miss Reporter sa Senado, nag PM sa FB kay Kerry Kennedy at tinanong sa iSyu.
Kerry Kennedy: Text message-“ Syetnator Syotto!”
Nadaan Sy Syotto sa hall, interbyu agad ni Miss Reporter.
Reporter: Syno ho ba ang dapat SySyhin sa pag insert ng Libel ProviSyons at Adulterer ng SyberCrime Law?
Syetnator Syotto: (Nagpapogi muna, hinagod ang bigote at balbas para magmukhang matalino. Pinabilog ang boses) Nainterbyu mo na ba Sy Kennedy?
Reporter: Oho, sumagot na sa text.
Syetnator Syotto: Pareho kami ng sagot.
Solve?
Sundan ang susunod na kabanata…
leona says
Sa ibaba pareho din!…SYOTOO COPY ito?
Parekoy says
@leona,
Pasensya na, na sandwich yong sayo. May link kasi kaya na quarantine yun, di ko alam akala ko nag error yung computer ko, yun resend ulit. Accidentally, na Syottocopy nga.
leona says
@Parekoy….Biro lang un tanong!…SyoTY na lang.
pinay710 says
@kabayan parekoy. aba eh daig mo si CAPARAS sa scrip writing. hahahhahha natauhan ako. ngayon lang sa tagal mula pumasok yung SIRA MRP dito sa CPM ngayon lang ako nabuhay muli. hahahhahahah!! puede ba magsuggest ng titulo ng scirp mo? eto? ANG SYBER SYSY!! BOW!! (mais no?) ganyan ang mag papatama sa mga GUNGGONG na nasa gobyerno natin. hindi naninigaw at hindi nagaalipusta pero may tama sa makabasa. hangang hanga ako sa iyo parekoy!!saka mas madali kong naintindihan ang situaSYon ng usapin dito. gustong gusto ko ang isytyle mo, SYr!!
pinay710 says
@parekoy, ang galing mong gumawa ng script. daig mo si CAPARAS. parang smorsgasbord ang dating. lahat ng artikulo ni raissa nasa isang script. hahahaha mula noong pumasok yung SIRANG MRP ngayon lang ako natuwa at natauhan. lalo kong naintindihan ang mga artikulo ni raissa. ito ang tamang iSYtle ng pagkokommento. hindi sumisigaw, hindi nanghihiya, hindi nanyayapak ng kapwa at hindi nagmamalaki. lalong maliwanag sa akin ang mga pangyayari. salamat ha. mas natututo ako sa iSYtle mo. you make my night with a SYmile!! hihihihi! ty po!
Parekoy says
Welcome sa inyong lahat na nakuha ang sense of rumor ko. Bawi na ang pag type ko, haba kasi.
baycas says
Mahaba nga…magaling pa!
(Oops, hindi kaya sa pinakabagong blog post ni @raissa ang komentong ito?)
Parekoy says
Congolese-mongolese? Ganun ata yung description ni Korina kay PNoy.
Yung makakuha ng meaning, may premyong 1M likes!
baycas says
:lol:
Rossi says
made me LOL hohohohohohohohohohohohooo…….
very nice, indeed!!!!!
Baltazar says
@Parekoy
Ngayon ko lang binasa kasi medyo mahaba.. syet.! .I really did burst into laughter in that part with Tia Miriam, The Huk (luban), Erap & Chavit ;-) . This is what I’m really calling as the icing of the cake. ..way to go parekoy.
tagasampaloc says
@Parekoy-
Brilliant screen writing this blog of yours. Better than most graduates’ work majoring in screen writing at Columbia Uni in NY. You are the best!
netty says
Tsk, tsk, na- late ka yata sa Best Screenplay and Best Director of Cyber Comedy Story sa Golden Globe Award. -15 dito sa lugar ko , pero naginit ako sa katatawa..I am looking forward to read the part two, SYGE abangan ko.
leona says
PataWA muna…Kwento tungkul kay EVA…
EVE’S SIDE OF THE STORY . . .
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. ‘So, how is everything going ?’ inquired God.
‘It is all so beautiful, God,’ she replied. ‘The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem . . .
It’s these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They’re a real pain.’
And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc . She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more ‘symmetrically balanced’.
‘That’s a fair point,’ replied God, ‘But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.’
And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes .
Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.
‘Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation ?’
‘Just fantastic,’ she replied, ‘But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.’
God thought for a moment and said, ‘You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let’s see . . . where did I put that useless boob?’
Now doesn’t THAT make more sense than the rib story?!?!
Para sa mga LALAKI, pag masdan ninyo!
pinay710 says
kung ganun pala hindi sa TADYANG kinuha si adan? heheheh kundi sa isang parte na walang PAKINABANG at PAMPAGULO? heheheheh kaya pala puro KALALAKIHAN ANG NAGNGUGULO SA MUNDO. kasi pinulot lang sila. hihihi pero mahal ko ang asawa kong LALAKE. at ang mga BABAE ang talagang makulit kaya hindi natahimik si Lord.hehehe tulad ni RAISSA makulit kaya daming natutuklasang mga KATOTOHANAN NA DAPAT NATING MALAMAN.
Rolly says
Last year similar online Bills at the US (SOPA, Stop Online Piracy Act and PIPA Protect IP Act), but not even half as much potent as the Cybercrime Law, were unable to take off the ground due to incessant protests of its citizens.
pcworld.com/article/248298/sopa_and_pipa_just_the_facts.html
Parekoy says
Break muna para more fun in the CPM
Syno ba ang dapat SySyhin sa pag insert ng Libel ProviSyons at Adulterer ng SyberCrime Law?
Anonymous Philippines’ hacks gov’t webSytes anew
http://www.philstar.com/headlines/2013/01/15/897221/anonymous-philippines-hacks-govt-webSytes-anew
Dahil sa panibagong paghaSyk ng mga hackers para ireklamo ang karapatang pantao sa pamamahayag, nagpanik ang Malakanyang. Ang reklamo ng mga hackers ay dahil sa ADULTERATED na Sybercrime Law. Titigil lang daw Syla pag tinanggal ang mga ADULTERATED proviSyons at pangalanan at tanggalin sa pwesto ang mga ADULTERERS ng Sybercrime Law. Namumutla, namumula at kumikislap na parang krismas layt ang bumbunan ni PNoy sa galit.
Madaling irepeal ni Pnoy ang mga probiSyon dahil hawak nya rin ang TongreSyo, Syetnado, at andon na Sy Syreno sa Korte Suprema. Pero ang problema ni PNoy ay kung Syno ang may pakana ng nakakahiyang mga probiSyon ng Sybercrime Law. Inatasan nya ang NBI, PNP, at iba pang sangay ng gobyerno sa pagimbestiga kung Synong henyo ang may kagagawan nito.
PaSyguro rin Sy Pnoy. Dahil alam nya na tSysmoso ang karamihan ng mga Pilipino baka may mag syngsyng. So inatasan nya ang isang Sexy Reporter (Malaki rin ang Futures) na mag-interbyu sa mga PUlitiko at iba-ibang personalidad sa bansa. Humayo at nang-interbyu ang reporter.
Reporter: Syno ho ba ang dapat SySyhin sa pag insert ng Libel ProviSyons at Adulterer ng SyberCrime Law?
Syetnator Miriam:
(Nakita ang camera at automatic na nakangiti dahil bagong facial/botox pero bago sumagot biglang naging seryoso at inilabas ang kanyang mga pangil at umuusok ang tenga) . Sy Syetnator PonSy Enrile yan. Alam naman natin kung Syno ang namahagi ng “Christmas Gifts sa Syetnado”, Synoli ko pa nga dahil alam ko suhol yun sa panantili nya sa pagka PreSyetdente ng Syetnado. Syno ba ang MarSyal Law Administrator? Syno ang nagpayaman Symula pa noong panahon ni Marcos?Hukluban na yan mahilig pa manliligaw, pa-coup-coup pa cuopal naman, ngayon gusto pang maging Syetnador ang kanyang anak. Daanin na lamang naming sa BokSying, kung Syno ang matalo Sya ang Adulterer ng Sybercrime Law!
Syetnator JPonSyE:
(Papungay ng mata at iSynilid sa kwelyo ang kanyang kulubot na balat sa leeg, habang nagpapak ng Viagra) ADULTERER? Ako? Ayoko ng patulan yan, alam naman natin kung Syno ang may tama sa ulo. Sya nga pagkagraduate nya, nagtrabaho agad yan sa gobyerno kay Kokoy (Kapatid ni Imelda) at alam ko ni hindi nag practice yan. Ako yumaman ako kaSy nagpractice ako bago pa ako nag Symula sa gobyerno. Sya ang imbestigahan natin, ang yaman nya na rin, laki pa ng mga bahay. Anong sabi nya, nanliligaw ako sa kanya? Hindi ah, naman may taste naman ako, aminin ko kay Loren oo, pero yung Chief of Staff ko, wow Syuper. At yong paninira nya na gawa-gawa kong ambush nong MarSyal Law sa libro ko, sabihin nyo sa kanya mas fictitious yung kanyang pagka Expert nya Kuno sa Constitutional Law, ilabas nya nga grades nya sa UP. Haay, ayoko na ngang pumatol dyan. May kasabihan kaSy: Pag pumatol ka sa isang Syra-ulo eh di Syra-ulo ka rin. Pag-usapan na lang natin ang kandidatura ng anak ko, hindi mamatay tao yan at lalo na hindi rapist.
Syetnatorial Jacky PonSyE: Iboto nyo ako para maimbestigahan ko yan sa Syetnado, kaSy gusto ko happy rin kayo. Ulitin ko hindi ko trip yung pagiging Adulterer, gusto ko hapi wife ko. Pero yung pagiging killer at rapist…(tinapik ng tatay at Synenyasan na itigil na ang interbyu.)
PreSyetdente Erap: Adulterer? Naman. Anong ebidenSya nyo? Kahit tanungin nyo pa Sy Loi, Sy Guia, Sy Laarni, saka Sy Joy. Plunderer okay, pero Adulterer never. Maling akusaSyon yan, hindi ako mahilig sa matanda (Adult), mahilig ako sa mga diSye. Hwag nyo nga pa lang kalimutan, iboto JV.
Reporter: Syr, nagtatanong lang po kung alam nyo, hindi ko po Synasabi na kayo
PreSyetdente Erap: Ganon ba, paki bati nga kay Gloria, “Una Una lang yan, he he…”. Tanungin nyo Sy Syabit, baka may listahan yun.
Syabit Syngson: Synabi ni Erap yun?(Nagsuot muna ng shades na parang sa tutubi) Hindi ako ang nag insert nyan, pero pabor ako dyan lalo na yung sa adultery. Dapat yung asawa ko nakulong yun, ano ba ang karapatan nya na magboyfriend kahit hiwalay na kami, adultery pa rin yun. Kaming mga lalaki pwedeng kumuha kahit pa ilang babae, pero sila hindi. Tularan dapat ng batas ang parusa ko sa adultery. Ganito. Bugbugin yung lalaki, ilabas ang ari (liit naman ng ari ng boyfriend ng asawa ko), hawakan ng maiigi, at martilyuhin.
Syetnatorial JV EjerSyto: Syguro yung isang bansot na Syetnador ang nag insert nyan. Halata naman Sya na ayaw nya akong maging Syetnador, gusto nya Sya na lang ang laging Sykat, Sya na lang ang bida, Sya na lang ang paborito ni Daddy, alam ko Sya ang panganay pano naming kaming ibang mga kafatid? Sya nga Syguro…
Syetnator Jinggoy: Hoy Syadaffbadaff!
Syetnator(a?) Koko: (Tinamaan) Walang ganyanan Jinggoy, courteSy naman sa kapwa Syetnador. Pero Miss Reporter, sa tingin ko ipinasok yang probiSyon nayan nong ni Syubiri pa ang nakaupo. Hudas yan, mandaraya, kaya Adulterer ng Sybercrime, Sya yon. Hoy Syubiri, amihnihn. Pag nakita ko Sya, kukurutin ko Sya, pero gwapo Sya diba?
Syetnatorial Syubiri: Hmmp, kaya ka iniwan ng asawa mo, mas malandi ka pa sa kanya. Hindi ako aaah. Aminin ko na lang na may alam ako sa dayaan noon sa Mindanao sa tulong ni PreSyetdente Gloria, GarSy at ng mga Sycho Ampatuan, pero nagSyngit nyan never!
Syetsya*Gloria: Ano bayan Syubiri, nanahimik na ako ditto sa St Luke, Hello?
*masarap lang pakinggan
Syiter(Cheater) GarSy: Tawag kaba Maam? Kulang pa ba yung 1M?
Sycho Ampatuan: Pisting kang yawa’a ka Syubiri, nanahimik ko dito sa kulungan Bay, hwag nako damay. Piro Miss Reporter, sa tingin ko yung hinahanap nyo, Sya rin ang bumaon dun sa midya , Sya yon. Naghanting lang kami baboy ramo dun, nagkataon lang na napadaan dun yung cunvuy ng miSys ni Mangungudato at midya. Hwag naman aku husgahan. Piro pag inamin ko ba na ako yung pumatay sa priss pridom sa Sybercrime, abswilto aku sa masakir? Kung uu, aminin ko na.
Syxyparin Korina: Syno ba ang pandak at maitim na maligno at atat na maging PreSyetdente? Pati anak nya na wala namang alam at bano pa, pinatakbo pa sa Syetnado. Di na magkaSya sa kanila ang pagiging Mayor ng Makati, Tongresswoman, at Bise PreSyetdente. Talagang namamaligno na tayo. Maligno SyxSyxSyx Dynasty yan.Syla na nga!
SyxSyxSyx NanSy Binay: (Habang namimili ng mga Belo whitening products) Grabe naman kayo kung laitin nyo ang Daddy ko. Proud ho kami sa kulay namin. Bata pa lang ho ako, ang orientation naming magkakapatid ay towards public Syrvice so iyon ang strong point namin, our deSyre to help. Kaya nga ako ang plataporma ko, dapat magpaganda ka. Tag line ko: Kay Binay, gaganda ang buhay.
Reporter: Whatever…
Sycretary Ochoa: (May hangover pa) Alam ko yung probiSyon nayan, proposal lang yan noon, pero hindi ko inapruban yan, wala ngang pondo eh. Sabi sakin ni Dumlao, mga gun- for- hire daw to. Sana naman hwag ng patulan to ni Sycretary Padyak Mar.
Dumlao: Coplan Armado Sybercrime. Yan po ang pangalan ng operaSyon namin. Yun nag-insert ng libel probiSyon yung target namin sa Atimonan. Sy Supt.Hansel Manratrat ang operations offiSyr, paki tanong nyo Sya.
Supt. Manratrat: Confirmed po, Sy Syman nga po. Rubout? Nanlaban po, yun kailangan depensahan naming ang sarili namin. Opo 24 kaming pulis at 25 na mga kapatid na mga sundalo. Nawawalang 100milyon? Baka po naibigay na doon sa mga Syetnador na bumoto para mailusot nya Syung korberSyal na libel probiSyon. More than 400 na bala ang tumama sa sasakyan? Konti pa po yun. Rubout? Di po. Kahit itanong nyo pa don sa mga pamilya ng 16 biktima sa Paranaque nonng 2008, bayani po ako noon nabigyan pa ako ng promoSyon. Masakit pa po ang mga galos oops tama pala ng bala ko sa kamay at paa, pahinga na muna po ako.
Syetnator Lacson: Rubout? Hwag muna tayong maSyadong mag-speculate, magaling na mga enforcers yan Syla Dumlao at Hansel Manratrat, uphold nyan ang batas. Alam ko ang nararamdaman nila ngayon, dumaan din ako dyan nung ako ay naakusahan sa Kuratong Baleleng, pero ano napatunayan ba nila? Sa tingin ko Sy Syman talaga ang nag insert ng probiSyon.
Nagtanong naman Sy Miss Reporter sa mga Taipans.
LuSyo Tan: Tingin ko funded yan ni Sy. Alam mo naman yan gustong Sya na lang lagi ang pinakamayaman sa Pilipinas. Ano ang purpose nya? May lihim kaSy yan at gusto nyang itago, so kailangan higpitan ang freedom of speech sa internet, baka lumabas. Pero alam mo, may pagkaengot din yan, yung tinatago nya nasa pangalan ng kanyang mall. SM-Sadista na Masokista pa yan. Pano ko nalaman? Yung babae nya naging babae ko rin, yun iniwan nya, kaSy kung ano-ano daw kahalayan ang pinag-gagawa sa kanya. Call me anytime if you need anything, okay? (sabay kindat)
Henry Sy: Synabi ni LuSyo yun? LuSyfer talaga yan, naungusan ko lang sa pagiging pinakamayaman sa Pinas, kung ano-ano na ang Synasabi. Syguro Sya, lahat nyan binibili panahon pa ng MarSyal Law hanggang ngayon. Yung mga Syetnators binibili nya. Please ask Syetnator Recto. Tingnan mo yung Syn Tax, diba sumingaw ang pangalan nya don? Sya yun. Call me anytime if you need anything, okay? (kumindat din pero hindi halata, halos nakapikit na kasi.)
Nagdako Sy Miss Reporter sa Bilibid.
Rolito Go: Sya yung nagkidnap sa akin sa loob ng kulungan.
Antonio Sanchez: Pag itinuro ko ba mabibigyan ako ng pardon tulad ni Jalosjos?
Meanwhile in Zamboanga City…kausap si Miss Sexy Reporter sa Cellphone
Jalosjos: Ano iSynabit ang pangalan ko ni Sanchez? Rapist ako pero hindi ako rapist-murderer na tulad nya. Buhay, buhay yung bata! Kung gusto nyang lumabas, magbigay Sya dami namang nababayaran dyan sa Bilibid, ako diretso sa itaas, diba mam Glo? Kung makakalabas Sya, pwede rin Syang tumakbo under UNA, feel at home Sya. Mga Ex convicts, Plunderers, Rapists, mga Coup plotters, at iba pang mga astigs. Hwag nyo nga pala akong kalimutan sa darating na botohan. Mayor ng Zamboanga City under the Syga party of UNA. Syno sa tingin ko ang ADULTERER ng Sybercrime? PasenSya ka na ija, hindi ako tSysmoso at nagbalik-loob na ako ki God. Plug ko na rin yung programa ko sa mga kabataan dito sa Zambongga: iYOUTH(iyut), bale scholarship yun sa mga edad 12-16 na mga babae, kwalipikaSyon: maganda, sexy at bobo. Tapos ng interbyu, humayo at namigay ng mga kendi sa mga paslit sa lansangan…
Nag Jeep sa UP Sy Miss Reporter, bumili ng banana q at nang interbyu ng mga frat boys.
Sygma Rhoan: Pakana yan ng mga UpSylon. Andyan Sy Joker, Pangilinan, Remulla, at Fuentebella.
UpSylonian: Pakana yan ng mga Sygma Rhoans. Nasa kanila Sy Enrile, Angara, Drilon, Villafuerte, Salas, at lalo na Sy Antonio Carpio.
Alpha Phi Omega: Nagturuan ang dalwang tunggak. Good! Di nila alam nasa amin Sy Binay at Sy Chiz. Sa rambolan ala Syla sa amin. Pero walang aamin sa amin kaSy may Omerta kami. MafyoSy kami. PreSyetdente Binay 2016, APO, APO, APO!
Dumaan na rin sa,Ateneo, UST, AMA at LaSalle at nang interbyu ng mga estudyante.
Atenista: It is quite obvious who is going to benefit from strengthening the punishment of Adultery. Maka SyBiSyPi. Syempre mga taga USTe, mga sarado ang mga utak nyan, utak-Damaso. Kahit Syguro Synabi ng mga taga UST na lemons and cowards yung mga taga LaSalle, Sygurado ako hindi La Sallista yun, kailangan mo above 80 yung IQ para maipalusot mo yung ganong probiSyon. Taga AMA utak komiks pero marunong yun sa computer, remotely Syguro.
USTe: Atenista yun! Mga Jesuits traydor ang mga yan, meron na naman yan binabalak para mas malakas ang impluenSya nila sa gobyerno. Bulok na style ng mga yan, panahon pa ng inquiSySyon. Pero Sygurado ako hindi LaSallista yun, obvious diba, baka taga AMA.
Batang AMA: Syet Tsong, Dude.., Anti Cybercrime kami! Mga hackers kami, kita mo yung tumira sa mga webSytes ng gobyerno, Anonymous Philippines, ka-grupo namin Syla. Nagpa cute at sabi, “Miss gusto mo ng fishball?”
LaSallista: What is that again? Sybercrime…Libel…Adultery? Can you please wait a minute, I’ll have to call my driver, baka alam nya yun.
Miss Reporter: Hwag na…
Dumaan na Sy Miss Reporter sa Senado, nag PM sa FB kay Kerry Kennedy at tinanong sa iSyu.
Kerry Kennedy: Text message-“ Syetnator Syotto!”
Nadaan Sy Syotto sa hall, interbyu agad ni Miss Reporter.
Reporter: Syno ho ba ang dapat SySyhin sa pag insert ng Libel ProviSyons at Adulterer ng SyberCrime Law?
Syetnator Syotto: (Nagpapogi muna, hinagod ang bigote at balbas para magmukhang matalino. Pinabilog ang boses) Nainterbyu mo na ba Sy Kennedy?
Reporter: Oho, sumagot na sa text.
Syetnator Syotto: Pareho kami ng sagot.
Solve?
Sundan ang susunod na kabanata…
Parekoy says
Apology- i sent it twice.
baycas says
The exchange between @raissa and ASec Sy involved a hypothetical scenario as everyone already know by this time. I’ll add some…
@joedelacruise at Comment No. 21 got it right that the email series is a proving fact (the factum probans) that will help in proving adultery (the factum probandum).
@Rene-Ipil at Comment No. 15 also got it right in introducing the computer (and, thus, the online world too) as the prime element of proving cyber adultery. Examples are a person engaging in extramarital cyber sex who was caught in the act by the spouse or a recorded video starring a married person engaged in cyber sex with a person other than the spouse.
We can see here that in both cases, (1) proving adultery by an email series and (2) proving cyber adultery by the act itself, the use of a computer and the online (virtual) world are present.
The difference is that in case number 1, the email series is only the factum probans in proving adultery. In the latter, the act itself constitutes both the factum probans and the factum probandum in proving cyber adultery. However, an email series, if available as evidence, may also be a factum probans in order to strengthen case number 2.
What is probably being ignored that is causing confusion is the fact that sexual intercourse in the virtual world happens. Regardless if virtual or real, sexual intercourse results in gratification. Physical penetration and exchange of body fluids need not be present.
The offense is Cyber Adultery. Fact is, cyber [bleep] may exist, but perhaps, harder to prove.
However, must it involve a one-degree higher penalty? I don’t know. I guess the difficulty in proving such an offense will merit such punishment…
baycas says
What I meant to say in the last paragraph was…
However, must it involve a one-degree higher penalty? I don’t know. I guess the relative ease in committing and the difficulty in proving such an offense will merit such punishment…
raissa says
Hmmm. The good Assec may even now copying what you wrote.
baycas says
In general, an “operational definition” or functional definition of terms must be given…especially in proposed laws. This will prevent confusion.
The excessive speed in making the Cybercrime Prevention Act was made led to uncertainties which led to unimaginable fear.
Haste makes waste (HMW).
—–
Off-topic but somehow related…
Constitutionally, the floor has always been open since 1987 to create an operational definition of “political dynasty”.
Absent such definition, the perceived “political dynasty” does not exist.
Parekoy says
“sexual intercourse results in gratification”
This definition of sex can always free the woman. The guy can’t fake the gratification, but the woman can argue that she was just faking it. Now this is tilted towards the woman…hmmm
Parekoy says
If the wife is doing the act with a lesbian, then there is no adultery?
baycas says
Offhand, I don’t know…
Try checking if the RPC is gender-sensitive.
leona says
“Penetration” or ‘carnal knowledge’ [Rev.Penal Code] covers all forms and kinds…penis, tongue, finger, toe, atbpa! Lesbians ‘can’ have all these even ‘put-on belt type penis!” [Made in China & Japan]. It BLEEPS too!
baycas says
@Parekoy on No. 29.4…
There you go…operational definition, again, is needed.
Sexual intercourse in the real world may be different in the virtual world.
But the fact that the f_ck [insert another bleep here] was consummated then either adultery or cyber adultery was committed.