There are lawmakers who will brave needles and resort to death-defying treatments just to live a little bit longer. Like the newly-resigned Senate President “Manong” Johnny Ponce Enrile who has never been seen with white hair in all his senior citizen years.
At the age of 89, he actually looks a quarter of a century younger.
Enrile’s secret? Stem cell therapy.
It is for this reason that my journalist-hubby Alan decided to look for “the elusive medical expert” on such treatments – Dr. Krietz von Poltroon – for a cock-eyed interview. Here is what Alan wrote:
Don’t limit stem cells for congressmen
Hot Manila – by Alan Robles
Congressmen should be allowed to have themselves injected with “gallons” of stem cells, a “medical expert” declared yesterday.
According to Dr. Krietz von Poltroon, “government attempts to regulate stem cells are futile! Doomed to failure! You will never escape, Batman. Never! Muwahaha!”
He then said, “excuse me”, before proceeding to inject himself with a viscous green fluid extracted from a small grubby bottle.
“Ahhh, there, so much better”, he said in a calmer voice seconds later.
Speaking in his plush bunk room serving as his clinic at a backpacker hostel in Mabini, von Poltroon denied stem cells were being administered by dubious “specialists.”
“Some of them are prominent — they’re wanted in at least four countries. You can’t get any more famous than that.”
Stem cell treatment caught public attention recently because of news that at least three congressmen died after receiving injections.
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