Two senators accused of massive theft of the people’s money have already warned that they were ready to “die in jail”.
Newly-detained Senator Bong Revilla earlier said:
“Wag lang nila akong bababuyin, Lung poposasan pa tayo at ako’y kakaladkarin, hand na kong mamatay pag ganun.”
Former Senate President Juan Ponce Enrile had expressed a similar sentiment:
“I’m prepared. Even if I’ll die in my cell, it’s okay. At my age, I’ve gone through life already.”
All this talk of dying prompted my hubby Alan to consult a medical expert.
What he learned stunned him and could stun the medical profession with the finding of a rare life-threatening condition.
Here is Alan’s ground-breaking exclusive as published by abs-cbnnews.com –
Highly-paid medical expert warns of threat to senator’s health
by Alan Robles
Posted at 06/20/2014 7:24 PM | Updated as of 06/20/2014 7:24 PM
A highly-paid “medical expert” yesterday warned that imprisoned senators are at risk from a rare and possibly deadly condition.
According to Syd Bragsafe (MyD), the condition is called “Being In Jail” and could pose a serious life risk.Bragsafe, who said his MyD abbreviation stood for “Maybe Doctor” explained: “Being In Jail – or BIJ as I like to call it — is highly dangerous to the health of senators, and other top politicians for that matter. These are the people who are the most sensitive to BIJ, and who have extreme reactions to it.”
He listed the key symptoms to watch out for.
“It usually starts as a mild discomfort, a migraine perhaps. But it develops into extreme nervousness and agitation. Eventually it can grow into a dangerous feeling of suffocation marked by compulsive walking around in circles.”
Asked what he meant by “eventually”, he replied, “within five minutes of being locked up.”
To read the rest, please click on this link.
DannyG says
Anooo???!!!!….. Maliban sa sakit na Pinocchioism aggravated by ilooongnose-itis, meron pang complication na BIJ ???? Dito, magma-manifest na ang recurrence ng condition ng hospital/house arrest, pa-awa effect at request for visitations to their love one’s birthday, reunions, holiday’s celebrations, etc.
Joe America says
Very funny article. I imagine Alan doing it as a stand-up comic routine, drums rolling with a cymbals clash at the end of every line. And a tip of the hat and bow at the end.
I hope BIJ becomes epidemic.
Alan says
Thanks Joe. Over at ABS-CBN’s FB page the piece is attracting a lot of attention and hundreds of comments, most of which seem to indicate that the people don’t understand it’s a humor column. I hate to say it but I’m beginning to think the comments are funnier than the column https://www.facebook.com/abscbnNEWS/posts/10152177403040168
Joe America says
OMG! :)
macspeed says
he he he anger for the accused senators posted by so many FILIPINOS even in satirical column he he he he, I don’t want to call them haters nor people who don’t understand between humour and wit…
FILIPINOS are there to support “good act” whatever and whichever way delivered. Jailing the accused specially corruptions is a GOOD ACT” for the current admin he he he
There you are, these FILIPINOS will surely vote the admin PRESIDENTIABLE bet…
Johnny Lin says
Cong Toby Tiangco complained to the press that only oppositionists are being targeted and put to jail by Aquino administration.
He asked, How about Sec Alcala? who is involved in smuggling sacks and sacks of “Grains” of rice and his department of agriculture distributed to fake NGOs PDAF money.
Alcala should be charged and jailed too, Tiangco claims,
This morning Alcala went to TV/radio for interview by Anthony Taberna.
Taberna told him what Tiangco said to the press.
Alcala: Tunying, I have been saying all along I’m not guilty of smuggling “grains” of rice besides Senator Bong Revilla already admitted yesterday upon entering jail that he was guilty.
How come?, said Taberna
Alcala replied, di ba sabi Nya siya ang meron “My Grain”
vander anievas says
hahahaha…
leona says
DIJ = detention in jail.
LIJ = lingering in jail.
…last but the most,
SIJ = senator in jail. Not the Jesuit Order.
Alan’s interviewing MyD ! I like. TMML = this made me laugh. LIAGM = laughter is a good medicine.
…next would be MyP?
Alan says
Yes please some more ideas for acronyms. If I get inspired, I’ll use them and credit the coiner
Martial Bonifacio says
“Tumataas ang BP niya pag mina-migraine siya yun yung problema so we have to control that at yung ang pinakausap ko sa kanila if that happens pwedeng mag cause ng aneurysm. Pwdeng pumutok kasi ang ugat niyan eh.” -Cong. Lani Mercado
But on the same video she also said:
“Yung favorite niya kare-kare ganyan. Sinampalukang manok” -@1:27 Cong. Lani Mercado
Source: http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/video/nation/06/20/14/why-lani-mercado-worries-about-bong-revilla
She clearly knows a lot about high blood pressure…….
leona says
high BP? …tanglad ang siguridad! Inumin ang ‘juice’ tuwing umaga baba pa ang blood!
vander anievas says
nagsimula nang magprelude kung ano ang magiging sakit-sakitan ni bo pogi.
in a month magre-request na rin iyan ng SL arrest.
pwede ba tayong magpatayo ng ospital, we shall name it ONM?
doon natin ipapagamot ang mga nagsasakit-sakitan.
moonie says
vander, we ought to give a bed of nails for bong to sleep on. that should solve all his health problems.
vander anievas says
oo nga @moonie,
hindi ba andami naman pag bed of nails?
ako nama’y maawain.
payag akong bawasan.
apat na karayom o apat na aspile na lang ang ilalagay ko.
ayon sa isang intsik na expert sa acupuncture, mas epektibo raw sa mga mata…
kaya pwede na ang tigalawa…
moonie says
martial, bong ought to go on fast, drink water and maybe eat fruits only, that should bring down his blood pressure. he needs to slim down too, medyo obese siya. mataba.
anyhow, we dont have to believe anything that lani say, she is exaggerating so much and mistook enrile for bong. lani has so much money surely she can afford to buy top of the range anti-hypertensive drugs for her husband. kaso lang, mahirap gamotin ang walang sakit. napakahirap.
well, to add to lani’s happiness (she seems to be happiest discussing her husband’s illness) her husband may also develop brain aneurysm to compliment the aortaic aneurysm she bandied about. double jeopardy. it might be good is she stops diagnosing illnesses for him for he might just have double aneurysm on demand. or as the wife predicted.
it’s god’s will if bong gets aneurysm. binalewala kasi niya and pakiusap ng paring taga-cbcp na nag-apologize sa sambayanan.
moonie says
and the way lani is going on about, being on the frontline and doing this and that, she might end up with aneurysm herself.
Johnny Lin says
Latest News: Reunion of martial Law triumvirate
“Enrile tapped Estelito Mendoza, his old comrade Secretary of justice under Marcos Martial law regime as his lead counsel and plans to call the assistance of another old comrade”
Enrile could no longer suffer the acute symptoms of BIJ being a jail recidivist, thus his illness is recurrence. While incarcerated, Bong Revilla plans to read a lot of books about religion given by his father, Nardong Putik. Jinggoy wishes to bring his iPad to pass time in jail but that would be forbidden so his father, Asiong Salonga is trying to recruit PNP guards in Camp Crame to lend Jinggoy their iPads while on guard duty.
Enrile has a unique idea while in jail. Being reconciled with Mendoza and anticipates to die in jail, he plans to write his second book of memoir since his first one was debunked in truthfulness.
He only has one problem. Due to his age and severe arthritis he is disabled to write long pages thus needing the help of a writer. Dragging the seriously deaf Mendoza to assist his legal defense, he also walked from the dead his old comrade to help him write his second book. Ferdinand Marcos will become his ghost writer.
Johnny Lin says
Fresh off the Press
Upon learning that Mendoza is representing Enrile and Marcos is the ghost writer of Enrile, Kit Tatad, the Press minister of Marcos who announced the declaration of Martial Law, revealed that he has been called upon by Enrile to be his press relation spokesperson.
That completes the Four Horsemen of Apocalypse
He he he
vander anievas says
hehehe…
fed-up says
@johnny lin. how appropriate! he he he
Rene-Ipil says
Is he the same Atty. Estelito Mendoza of the Erap impeachment trial in 2000?
Teodoro Benigno wrote in 2000: “And the anti-Estrada opposition was afraid the big guns of the defense led by Estelito Mendoza would hack the prosecution to kindling wood.” Until prosecution witness Emma Lim came along and taught him (Atty. Mendoza) how TEA is taken. That tea is drank, not eaten. The “legal colossus” looked dumb before a lowly witness who was merely telling the truth.
http://www.philstar.com/opinion/102104/emma-witness-extraordinaire-military-weighs-heres-score-teodoro-c-benigno
Read on and see how Jinggoy Estrada got his first plunder case as illustrated by Teddy Benigno.
Rene-Ipil says
It’s drunk.
leona says
hahaha
Johnny come early!
…tv footage last night I saw estili men…I thought that was an old tv footage! My mistake maybe.
vander anievas says
ahahaha! mukhang totoo ang sakit na iyan.
syndrome, sa ganang akin.
yan yung nagkakaroon ng feeling na “patay na ako ngayon at ililibing na bukas”
derecho iyan sa craving.
cable.
cooler.
umaasam ng house arrest.
at maghahanap ng wheelchair.
kudos to the most wonderful couple!
alan and raissa!
moonie says
thank god for alan and raissa. alan’s research led us to BIJ. like the selective justice that the 3 senators are harping tirelessly about, BIJ is also apparently very selective, its virus so exclusive and affect only those in taj mahal but not good enough type of detention.
hey, alan, did dr syd bragsafe said that BIJ is being studied further? apparently, there’s a suspicion that it can make detainees psychotic, that they may start eating their own toes. that they may think they’re geckos and start crawling on walls. so, if you happen to visit them, look up, they maybe up in the ceiling, big smiles on their faces, looking down at you thinking you’re lunch. delicious!
take care of yourself, alan, we dont want to lose our resident man with funny bones.
vander anievas says
wasn’t the original disease name Being Jailed(BJ)?
could be a lot funnier?
hehehe…
Rene-Ipil says
The disease started as BIJ (Bong in Jail) and would have a strain called JIJ (Johnny or Jinggoy in Jail) upon arrest, booking and jailing of Jinggoy and Johnny. And thereafter would settle to the generic BIJ (Being in Jail) syndrome characterized by the feeling and manifestation of laughing in the outside but crying in the inside.
Alan says
Yes that sounds better; that’ll learn me – I was in a hurry. I wasn’t actually intending to write a humor column last night but I couldn’t stand it anymore.
Alan says
Thanks moonie
netty says
And the lesson learned: They can have billions but there is nothing than a good feeling of being free enjoying the best things in life….. happy family time not locked up, no worries, a little bit of money, a little bit of everything. Is this time for rehabilitation? Not if one is in denial.BEING IN JAIL (BIJ) is the worst and awful time of their young , midlife and senior way of living. I am grateful to be free and seeing this happen now is one step in believing that the country is not only fun but doing a slow metamorphosis.
Thanks ALLAN, both of you are writing in tandem reaching us who are away from our home sweet home. Speaking of home, I am pickle to say I am proud to be Pinoy for obvious multiple reasons, but really very concerned about what’s going on. In my neighborhood, I am always asked about the country and always get same stories of their sons’ working experience with a corrupt country and the most talked about Imelda shoes.No one asked me about Rizal yet., ever. Being defensive is not my cause, I simply tell that the present PRESIDENT is doing his darnedest ability to change the country and CHANGE IS A BIG WORD that needs a big heart to do so. Hope Pnoy has both the mind and the heart, lots of heart .
czech says
Hindi ba sinabi nila n handa silang mamatay s pagharap ng kaso nila, eh di mamatay n sila hehehe….e bakit tila b migraine p lang eh mukhang nagbabadya n sila ng “hospital arrest”? Ngaun nila ipakita pagiging masa nila n kaya nilang mabuhay sa parehong sitwasyon ng mga bobotantes nila.
Tungkol po s hospital bills ni napoles, nabayaran n po b? Naitanong ko lang kasi me pera ung dalawang anak nya n nakapagpiyansa ng 450k (each?)
Kajames says
@czech: Oo nga,iyong isa pa nga handa raw makulong uli pero ng lumabas na ang warrant humhgad ng “house arrest”!…ano ba yan?
Napuna ko lang may hierarchy din sa pag-issue ng warrant, inuna iyong “top grosser” sa kurakotan…!
Kajames says
…marahil marami sa atin ang medyo nasisiyahan na kahit papaano naka-“detain” na ang isa sa mga kawatan sa senado. Nagsimula na rin ang biglang pagsulpot ng sakit ng mga akusado. Siguro, taktika iyan para sa paghirit ng hospital arrest.
moonie says
he, he, he, to cure migraine, bong revilla ought to stand on his head, divert that migraine to his nether region, let it flow down there. tapos, piss it against the wall, bong!
what, sobrang init sa selda? may ceiling fan dyan e, high above the floor, bong cannot get the electric cord, tie it around his neck and hang himself with it. bawal e. to cool off, he just have to take off all his clothes and walk around naked. shaking and slapping his butt now and then. no need to be shy. pogi siya, e. maybe to cover his you know that is suffering from withdrawal symptoms and hanging loose and flaccid, lani can give him one of her super slim skirts the one with slit at the back, maybe matching high heels too. or maybe send krista miller in, followed by 2 sexy girls. they can have fashion show in there. hala rampa!
viewko says
e di hindi pala pwede yung strategy na hintayin yung resulta ng susunod na presidential elections. kasi mahigit 2 taon pa yun. heh, heh.
kung 3 days lang ang itatagal nila, dapat me verdict na within 2 days. para alam nila before they go.
san kaya? sa heaven o sa hell? sa hotel ba kamo? sino kasama? huh, ano ba yan….
sykes says
which is why i wouldn’t be surprised if certain personalities would try to usurp power in a violent manner :(
raissa says
:)
kapayapaan_1900 says
I almost die of laughing reading your husband’s article about a newly found disease called “BIJ”. It is more than entertainment, full of wisdom and wits and helps me lighten my day! Thanks Alan and Raissa!
pinay710 says
hahaahaa i too i laugh till i drop!!! salamat allan at raissa sa bagong kaalaman. heheheh
@ mam/sir leona, sir baycas, sir johnny lin heheheh mukhang naisahan kayo sa bagong sakit ng mga convicted. lagot gagawa na ng paraan ang mga akusado na hindi sa piitan pupunta.
eh ayun nga siguro alam ni revilla na MIGRANE ang isang simptomas kaya MERON daw sya migrane na sabi ng abogado nya.
moonie says
baka ang abogado in bong ang siyang may migraine. na BIJ ang cliyente niyang high profile.
alan is armed and dangerous, he kills with laughter.
leona says
@pinay710…hahaha. O o nga. Galing!
Gagawa ba ng paraan ang mga akusado na hindi sa piitan pupunta…saysay mo.
Sigurado!
Ang depensa nila: Hindi Namin Alam Peke ang NGOs ni Janet Napoles! – isa yan.
Hindi Ko Trabaho Alamin Na Peke Ang NGOs ni Janet Napoles! – dalawa na ito.
Walang Diretso Na Ebidensya Laban Sa Akin! – Tatlo na ito.
Maaring Sagot sa unang Dalawa: Ignorante ka man sa Batas walang ekusa sa pag sunod sa Batas.
Is the ‘NGOs’ a law? Hindi nga. But isang PEKE may Batas laban dito. Kaya tumba ang depensa nila. Ignorance of critical FACTS is ignorance of the critical LAW.
Yun pang nga ‘atlo – walang ebidensya na deretso laban sa kanya …o.k. sana…BUT when there are strong ‘circumstantial evidence’ TWO OR MORE to prove the guilt, SABIT siya!
Mayroon ba two or more ‘circumstantial evidence’? Mayroon lima or walo!
Next week, direct evidence will show 2 SIJ susunod. Or BIJ pala. Don’t drop laughing remain standing.
leona says
sa huli,
“Ignorance of the law excuses no one from compliance therewith (2)” …Article 3, new civil code of the Philippines, as Amended.
jorge bernas says
@ leona,
Tama po kayo leona, Kong isa o dalawang beses lang silang mga senadores na sina Tanda, Pogi, Sexy at mga opisyal ginawang TANGA/BOBO ni janet lim napoles at maniniwala ako at puwedeng pagbigyan pero sa nalaman ko ay mahigit sampong beses at mahigit walong taong ang ganoon sistema nang pagkuha/pagnakaw sa PDAF FUND nila ay masasabi ko at maliwanag na nagkaroon nang SABWATAN para MANAKAW ang PDAF FUND nang BAYAN…
Saka kong sinampahan nila nang Kaso si janet lim napoles pagkaalam nila na niloko sila dahil fake/bogus NGOs.pala napunta PDAF Fund nila ay sana hindi tayo makakaduda sa KUTSABAHAN nilang ginawa para manakaw ang PERA nang BAYAN..
Dumating din ang KARMA….at Nagbabayad na sila kasama ang TUBO… KARMA…