Pharma company, DigongMy Labs, unveils groundbreaking cure for sick democracy

BREAKING NEWS.

On the eve of Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte’s State of the Nation Address, an upstart drug company has launched a miracle product, guaranteed to cure our ailing democracy.

Read all about it in Alan Robles’ newest post on –

Curing your sick democracy

Alan Robles – Hot Manila

Dear Philippine democracy, have you been feeling listless and sleepy? Are you sick and tired of human rights? Do freedom and liberty give you migraine? When you hear the words “writ of habeas corpus,” do you suffer vertigo and nosebleed?

Bad news: you might be suffering from political anemia.

Good news: the pharmaceutical company DigongMy Labs, has just what you need!

New and fortified MARTIAL LAW is the exciting cure guaranteed to remove yellow jaundice and put blood back in your politics and in your streets!

Based on a traditional recipe handed down from the Marcos family, MARTIAL LAW works by purging your politics of useless elements such as freedom, justice, human rights, constitutional protections and due process.

How effective is MARTIAL LAW? Let’s look at this poor victim of political anemia:

Citizen: Why is government encouraging extrajudicial killings? It’s not right. It’s terrible.

Clearly, this citizen is suffering from yellowtarditis – TOO MUCH DEMOCRACY! Here, citizen, have some MARTIAL LAW.

Armed men on motorcycles drag citizen away and beat him to a pulp. 

Citizen: Yaaah

Just what the doctor ordered! No more problem!

Approved by all good docile Supreme Court justices, MARTIAL LAW is simple and effective. Simply swallow DigongMy Labs’ magic blue pill. Its special fentanyl additive will knock you unconscious and paralyze most of your brain functions. When you wake up, you will realize that everything is the fault of… drugs! Terrorism? Drugs. Petty crime? Drugs. Corruption? Drugs. Heavy traffic? Drugs. Defective LRT? Drugs. Boss hates you? Drugs.

Then you will realize that DRUGS can only be solved with MARTIAL LAW and start screaming enthusiastically “MARTIAL LAW should be the rule of the land. MARTIAL LAW NOW!”

To read the rest, click on this link.